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(A Sea Of) The Unborn
Sometimes I hear him yelping,
the tiny one that never was;
I feel his minute potential orbing
in my head.
He is writing me love letters;
they are stacked against everything -
Murmuring his faint heartbeat
that never takes or emerges.
I wonder how such solace
could be mine to think of him,
or how he dozes inside such
bleak non-reality.
Desperately, I feel him reaching,
waiting for a reaction;
I feel his liquid soul, his blue torment
pulsing in a sea of the unborn.
.....
#SharonOlds
( a non-entry )
the tiny one that never was;
I feel his minute potential orbing
in my head.
He is writing me love letters;
they are stacked against everything -
Murmuring his faint heartbeat
that never takes or emerges.
I wonder how such solace
could be mine to think of him,
or how he dozes inside such
bleak non-reality.
Desperately, I feel him reaching,
waiting for a reaction;
I feel his liquid soul, his blue torment
pulsing in a sea of the unborn.
.....
#SharonOlds
( a non-entry )
Written by
PoetsRevenge
Published 2nd Jun 2019
| Edited 30th Jun 2019
Author's Note
Inspired by ' The Unborn' by Sharon Olds
Written for the 'Fear Of Oneself' comp
https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-unborn/
Written for the 'Fear Of Oneself' comp
https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-unborn/
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 4
comments 14
reads 674
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Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
2nd Jun 2019 7:03am
I particularly liked these lines: "or how he dozes inside such
bleak non-reality"
Really enjoyed this overall.
bleak non-reality"
Really enjoyed this overall.
1
Re: Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
3rd Jun 2019 3:59am
Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
2nd Jun 2019 12:21pm
Dear sister, your collective descriptives are bitter-sweet reminders to me. Well done in honor of Olds, and best wishes in the tribute.
Jade✍🏻
Jade✍🏻
1
Re: Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
3rd Jun 2019 4:02am
I love that word, bitter-sweet, it's great to hear it in a comment and I'm glad it was such..
Thanks so much for the encouragement, sister :)
Thanks so much for the encouragement, sister :)
Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
3rd Jun 2019 3:09am
Hm. Hits me in the gut. Each stanza holds a ghostly presence. Quite mournful. Terrific ink.
1
Re: Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
3rd Jun 2019 3:54am
I read lots of Sharon Olds poems and listened to her readings and got chills from them, particularly her endings. I wanted to convey the creepiness that a lot of her parent/child subject poems have, she did write some that were dark, I'm glad that came through, I was going for ghostly on this one..
Thanks for the great comment, so glad you liked it :)
Thanks for the great comment, so glad you liked it :)
Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
3rd Jun 2019 8:26pm
wishing you all the best in the comp (I cannot connect with her work ) I will have a look at the brief regards SLIP
1
Re: Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
5th Jun 2019 2:48am
Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
Anonymous
4th Jun 2019 11:37am
This was utterly heartbreaking. Very few poems ever convey sadness at the level this does. Good luck in the comp, PR.
1
Re: Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
5th Jun 2019 2:53am
Thanks for reading and the insightful comment, it's helpful to know what emotions are being conveyed in a poem since I was so focused on just writing it I wasn't sure exactly..
Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
12th Jun 2019 2:43am
Very easy to read, without the misuse of obscure words, my kind of cup. Thanks for a good read :)
0
Re: Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
12th Jun 2019 4:42am
Some of my older poems had the former, but I like to run a gamut of styles, I'm so glad you liked this, thanks for the comment :)
Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
20th Jun 2019 9:56pm
Re: Re. (A Sea Of) The Unborn
21st Jun 2019 6:16am