Intracranial Hemorrhage

So. Wheres your self control ?    
 
Oh. Its nestled between the slipping of your combative unholy freudian slips as your tongue ricochets off the moon when you know that the sun can sustain you from dusk to dawn.  
 
You’re a fool !  
   
Why must you insist on self detonation, when you know that you have something tactile within your grasp ?  
   
You’re suppose to make my cunt ache, and not give me another fucking wound to the head.    
   
Do you feel a sense of abandonment ?    
   
Why are you tethered to others who can't necessarily sustain you, and you know that I can ?  
   
I will not go to war for your trust, respect, love, honour & attention because like you, I can also easily obtain those things without having to incur a post war psychological brain injury from the bullets you drop between my eyes.  
   
I find no love, protection, security and comfort in you as you hurl me into the equinox of your ever changing seasons whilst you slow dance with the whores in your past.  
   
Whores, that aren't emotionally stable to sustain you, and maybe I cannot be that girl either.    
   
I won't compete in those childish hunger games.  
   
Maybe, you just don't want your heart & soul kissed as you battle with your combative ego, and leverage off of her moonbeams, thinking that she's wholesome and capable of sustaining you when she's in a world of inner torment herself.    
   
Just imagine if you killed your ego, readjusted your inner compass and actually changed the lens upon which you gaze just to let go of all that internal angst to follow me into the light to enable our love to grow and flow, without the distortion of your insecurities emerging.  
   
I won't channel my love & energy into a man that is comfortable and more than capable of scoffing in my face whilst deriving pleasure from my internal sufferance as you wound me by playing games with me, and others whom you have bound yourself to on a deeper level.    
   
I don't need a unstable whinging & whining man whore fuck boy slut, combative motherfucker who derives pleasure from childlike tantrums so stand the fuck up like a man, or run off to play with the little girls that are self sacrificing and willing to bend and break to your will, because I will not.  
   
Not unless I'm splayed open, and you're punishing me with your big hard cock because what makes me gravitate towards you is what lies in the depths of you too but the difference between you & I lies in transcendence.    
   
Do you have a grip on your mind, sometimes I have to wonder as your secrets emerge and you strangle yourself, and it's akin to a public hanging as you play hangman with your own hand and mind, and she emerges to pick up the pieces whilst cutting her own hands.  
   
How do you propose not losing your mind when my lips are wrapped around your big hard pulsating cock, and your mind is reeling when you have a fistful of my hair ?  
   
Will you even dare ?  
   
So many questions, and so very little answers.  
   
Is love & chivalry really dead when you have to behave in a manner that does not correlate with either of those things ?  
   
Fuck me !    
   
I don't have the time to be mind fucked when you have a long line of sketchy insecure whores from small towns with small minds which you threaten me with to take my place, even married whores who have no self worth as they seek the pleasures of the flesh in another man, instead of mending fences with their husband.  
   
Where the fuck is the fault line running along those tectonic plates ?  
   
Do you feed off of the vulnerable to pack your hollow internal wounds, or do you gain strength from a starseed who knows how to read you better than you read your own self ?  
   
So. Who the fuck do you think you are to threaten my internal stillness, and wage war with my inner calm to make me question the loveliness that exists in the depths of me, and my worthiness of you, for you ?  
   
Can you throw 20 years of that kind of fermentation down the drain, so easily ?  
   
If you want to go, then go, you have my blessing and I won't beg & plead for your love when the fact remains that I will end up giving you more of me, than what I take from you, leaving me to draw upon my internal faculties to replenish what you take when you haven’t mastered the art of harnessing your own energy field.    
   
There are things we both need, and if your needs aren't being met, you need to say something before going off the deep end.  
   
I want to be with you to unlock your potential as so much has happened between then and now, however, you keep gravitating towards the insecure fractured broken whores who polarise your vision.  
   
And, who can truly blame you if that's all you've ever known, m'love.  
   
I will not beg you and question my worthiness pertaining to your touch because your touch draws upon my energy to sustain your own, and it's true, I don't really need you but I want you.  
   
I've always wanted you but you're like the shifting sands beneath my feet, and you rapidly shift in a way that is hard for me to find my stability in you.

Why do you do that ?  
   
How am I ever suppose to invest absolute faith and trust in you, when you don't demonstrate those things whilst gazing upon me ?  
   
Even after you did what you did, and we both know what you did to my so called friends, yet all those things don't hold my heart to ransom because I know that deep down, you want someone to fill you with love & light whilst nurturing and nourishing the internal fractures, long after we surrender to one another.    
   
Each time I reach for you, this happens which tells me you're not ready for a love that's deeper than the deep blue ocean for you think I'm here to feed your greedy little ego when you need to murder that motherfucker, or put him to sleep to enable you to grow, internally.   
   
I will not bond with you through trauma but I will help you to unpack yours, and process those things to enable you to elevate yourself, and transcend into a higher realm.  
   
Perhaps, you don't know how to truly surrender, and you battle with your internal demons because deep down, you don't want to surrender yourself to the dance of your own  heart & soul, let alone any one else’s.    
   
I don't wanna be sucked into the vortex of your madhouse asylum shades of blatant red as you make me bleed from my brain because that's all you've ever known, in terms of acquiring the purity of another in all their entirety.    
   
Love, isn’t something you’re truly ready to embrace with your whole entire being; mind, body & soul, especially when your ego emerges and controls you.    
   
So. If this is goodbye, then I won't say see you later, and I won't slam the door this time, I'll close it gently so we both have closure.