Love and hate

My ambitions ran high I was motivated in till I let you in, now life's   complicated I never wanted something I can't have it's right in distance but I can't grab, I deny it so I said,then i add one more drink in hopes it ends  the silly thoughts in my head which causes me to rethink  times  again, oh how I wish to delete the past oh how I'd do anything to forget your ass, i can't afford this delusion can't restore with no solution, even more I hate your face, I hate your smile, I hate your taste, with your style comes disgrace I'd do anything to clock out this place, I feel dumb like Im running  an already won race, I  bet you can't    understand  my antonyms describing you, I hate to admit there's more then a few, I have no hate in my heart and just cuz I met you don't think ill start,my world iz cold and could be crashing down but I'll still stand here with an upside  frown some times love has no place  sometime love has a pretty face   I can't  fathom the ultimate reason so I'll rely on the change of the season and consider this a notorious treason of pleasing you, although you'd never on my behalf, but no worries cuz you know I'll never ask nor will I ever tell, cause kissing you was brought on by a spell of loneliness and confusion that describes the layout of our fusion, but still there are no regrets, just the payment of over due debts..I think one day you'll appreciate  our meeting and you'll truly comprehend the meaning that I never took nothing from  you in fact you gained more than a distorted view you had  gained someone who really loved you.....