The Toll of Tourism

I was born in the country out west, where I feel home;
There the air, sun through leaves falls and permeates my bones;
I breathe deep in and recognize
What feels right,
What is mine;
What falls into place without reason or trying.
Among the trees, walking through the woods,
By the still, deep lake
I’m submerged in the details;
Where am I? I cannot separate.

I take a trip to the city for the very first time,
First second I’m knocked to the ground – it’s not mine
This unfamiliar place; “I never will love it,” I say,
But day by day (if I desire) I learn
How to weave through the streets, adopting the patterns;
I’m in Rome and I conform my ways to their ways.
I think I love it, I think I could stay
On, snatching mannerisms, donning new hair and glasses;
New hobbies developed; wrapped inside I find myself enveloped.

Then the breeze comes in; it blows me back home
Away from the din, to rest in my own,
My comfort, like a battery and I am a toy
Of the breeze, whichever way today it blows.

I take a trip to the city and play with the kids,
I meet you with your different eyes and plunge in
(After the fact I wonder if you took any of mine)
And we dance out the differences in firework flames.
In this city on the sea I never find peace
You’d think (I think) it will kill me –
But in time I crave instability
Just like I once craved peace.

Let’s dance in what feels strange,
Wearing clothes that don’t fit us;
I’m a circle knocking into a cube,
Getting dented;
Walking off the ground in this unfamiliar town,
From the air waving ’bye; don’t let me come down
’Cause I am staying in the air as a stranger in anxiety
That inspires me to leave more than footprints in my wake.
It’s the toll of being a tourist on my wrung, twisted body and worth it for its sake.

The memory of “home” is burned into my heart
So I’ve no qualms to part
With the search for what I have found.
I rely on the wind now
And pray that it doesn’t calm down.

I want to dabble in lives that are not mine,
Live tales out of karma, buds off the line,
Stories that are chapters out of time
To fix my soul or something before I go home.

I took a trip to the stars and forgot all I knew;
Earth’s customs fell apart into the nothings they are
Before the blank face of outer space.

I took a trip to the sea and in time loved the waves,
Swung oppositely to previously preferred stability;
I took a trip to the desert and wandered for a thousand days.

Now I return home to rest and relearn
That I belong to the earth.
I find my people again and I do not care
For the bliss of complacency;
Not to want is the scariest state; how free
When you drive and feel you’re going nowhere; see the clouds
In awe as if you arrived on earth today.

I was born in the country – but something was missing;
I looked at the others and stared at their ways.
So I traveled ’round the planet and found that everyone has their ways.


04/28/11