sin'nature

 
I ache inside the sin of the day
sinister and wanting
it wants to kill me
 
the day is a headhunter
seeking to get in my mind
turn my thoughts bleak
make me suicidal
 
it penetrates as I sit here
pushes in on me a dense smothering fog
a depressional state I can't escape
I fear it, I run from it  
 
self-medication is a bitch
it has become my master
I run from the pain
but the further I go the closer it gets
 
it's hunting me
I must become the killer
kill it before it kills me
 
I need to get my head into the game
fear makes me an easier target
it smells my fear
 
it's getting closer now
I can see its shadow falling upon me
I shiver in its presence
it's the beast I must conquer  
 
I created this demon for my pleasure
now I must destroy it for my survival
it's him or me
 
I'm going out swinging
at least I put up a fight and died trying
 
no surrender
means no defeat