LOVEING

You deceived me into believing that you cared
In addiction we are paired
My heart is in total shambles
I tried to cry but
Alas my eyes are dry
I guess you never lied
I should have been aware
That only weaklings really can care
To be strong
I to be  wrong
I'm angered and disgusted
Furious because im weakened by the mere sight of you
The minute you will give me
I take to heart and hold
You never lied i give you this control
Decidedly i give into to a stolen moment in your light
You leave me half deadened this dispair
That i long to endure
For my disease you are the medication
Holding out my cut wrists i pump and pump my fist
Trying in vain to shed this pool of blood from my veins
I cant in you find redemption allthough id believe i could if you Just said it
There all second best in my eyes even when there closed there is Only you
And so fucking die i scream i thrash
But again you come some phantom of human emotions epitome
You there hazily in view
The tears are they yours or mine
I am dizzy without the will to your blood spill
Why this consumption i cannot kill
In that embrace i am ever stilled content in torment
Relentless in my own demise
I withdrawal from the stinging of your lies
Chilling to my very core
Tomorrow ill seek you out to get more
Lifeless and torn
All ive loved have left me coldly callously
I ever more will tomorrow
Beg steal and borrow of this endless fount
The resivouir of tormented waters impure
I bathe in satan's concubines
Menstral blood id lap it up
just to an eternity be ever more with thee
i sing to the harps of fire just to get higher
i lie here on the floor of my tormentors door
juist to be kicked once more
he allways says hell stay and that he loves me
but to love is folly of the largest sort
to be in love the double edged blade
the stage is where theatrics reside
the screen of slick plastic the shores of the abyss
is where i alone on myself do iss shaken and abandon
this collar that i wear
bids me servant and i am ever more devoured there by buzzards
for zombie is all i be blood lust mine and theirs
i care nothing for these sheep
i slaughter
even stars and suns to wax colder in my view
but master i long for them and you
feed me for im hungary
i need the flesh im victim to the call
overtaken by the need
consumed by the devils brew
bubbling from the meat of you
i long to devour
take away my power

all of this in you im reborn through only the approval of you
im enlightened by a pleased nodd
even as i sit and upon my face you spit
i love you forever
strengthened only by the punishment
destroy me lastly for living without you
is like already being dead
to give another so much power
over your very bnreath ill beat you to death
yes please take thy dagger and cut this shattered heart from this breast cut the wickedest thing away
help me shed this outer storm to again be shorn by the cut away these beautiful 1ong locks that make them see this face
cut and sheer all that draws anothers attentions here
for even in this my lord my king
anything just to wear this leather ring around my neck
pull your vision from me if i am so undeserving
please release the butterfly from her retched caccoon of catastrophe i beseech thee
leave outside this realm of me the desire to burn in desperate fires
seal up the gaping flesh where you stole my heart mind and soul from me
cause in you im rteflected and without you
i have no reflection
purity is discipline no whining when you purge me of mine own sinful ways
cast the devils out of this shell
send them back to hell
bring me the one you took for allways
and make me mold me into that girl forever
taking me into infinite release me owner of my all in my dillusion im lost in the winds of dispair without you
you waltz through pleasures palace doors and upon my defiled heap i lay on pavement for im no longer worth the carpeted floor
i will go with you into eternity my lesson learned love is for the fools and meak excuses of this life
dont give in or up on me im here waiting to be high with you again and i need you my turniquet my rig i love you
my torturer my demise is secured in you
lord of the binds whips and gags
in you im all everything without you im an empty vessal
fill me with life breathe for me for im gone trhe swoon has carried me through the death the rebirth new beghinnings
and new ends id live only half a life without you as my wife husband and world so as i vomit my devotion from my mouth
make of me what you will but the emotion my god pleASE KILL