the Banana skins of Bedevilment

the Banana skins of Bedevilment
(Twenty-Two  of 30 -- Official DUP NaPo/GloPoWrimo 2019)
 
Scuttling along like a pill bug in confusion.
I have to stay away today; I should have asked,
                        “ For how long? “
but I ran to get away from discomfort as fast as
my fucking stupid anti-intimate self could ferry.
 
Moving amidst darkness and the occasional headlight
I discover that teasing is not always received very well
poor reception, weak frequencies, resonating unkind
I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on the cue, the tell!
It ain’t easy when all I have is typed text glaring at me
screaming with eyes at the other end but here I see
nothing but alphabet letters strewn together to cry
out,                  “ You hurt me. “  
I might have had a chance had I looked into her eyes
felt her heat and vibrations………..
paid attention.
 
I hope no disillusion exists and I am afforded the  
opportunity to make amends…
to listen with apologetic acknowledgement.  
 
Believing in Fairy Tales and Forever-afters
is not a good excuse for wishing wells of joking
insensitive biting stabbing laughter.
I can be a child as I try not to be too often.
 
The trials of learning another human being
especially when the expanse is seemingly
insurmountable and unfathomable
and all online
the electrical warm fuzzies
are not always
warm.
 
 
I dislike when I slip on my own skin.
 
 
#NaPoWriMo2019  
221 words    
154  unique