Don't you?

To be so tired of a situation
Knowing that the fog may soon
give way to all things clear
...........is frightening
As I sit here on my bed
with the heaviest fears that I dread
I just want you to know that I want you
You want me?
In my dreams its your face I see
I lay up at night
Wanting us to have the time of our lives together
Distance is a bitch
but I want you forever
I have days where I am the happiest woman alive
others days I feel like I just wanna hide
Days when I feel like I may miss my chance
Days where I say "stop kidding yourself"
And that's what hurts the most
because my love for you is no joke
Is this what it means to love so much that it hurts?
You don't know this....
but I've gotten so scared that I stop calling
Like I used to because I feel you'll one day
Fade away
So I figure I would cut down on the future hurt now
Im feeling like I should give up
I remember when you said
that maybe friends is all we were meant to be
That was the first time you broke my heart
I felt like you had given up so soon
But I fell in love with you
I need to know, I need to see what it feels like to hold you
Don't you ever wonder?