I was just hoping

What is it, where is it?
do you have some?
I've looked high and low
.......I've stopped looking altogether
Between you all
I've found nothing I seek
Same patterns, same feelings I gain
From the same tribulations
Are you all alike?
Over the years I have encountered different
kinds offering the same effects in the end
Let's see........
There was the insecure boy
who wanted to change me because he
really needed to change himself
He enjoyed taking my heart, kick dropping
and propping it back on shelf
 
Then came the artistic nerd who enjoyed
rain wonder in the evenings
nice looks, gentleman to the T
Girlfriend count was zero
a boyfriend wasn't what he needed to be
 
The first one to make me fall came along
we took each other on a ride
There were dreams of marriage
him mowing the lawn, me rocking the carriage
we could talk into the night
laughing without reason  
At the threshold, tulips and a card
Soon after we fell on times that were hard
I became numb as can be
Love, loyalty yet wanting to be free
 
Then, one day I walked into work
there sat this stranger at 10a.m.
by 3p.m. we were kindred spirits
He was highly intelligent
Veteran of the army, a man of honor
a father to a little girl
Seemingly an original in this carbon copy world
a friend to lean on only to disappear
 
Back to lonely square one.
Beginning to write my feelings
My emotions falling onto paper
Love resurfacing with an
amazing artist in his own right
with him on the phone I spent the night
The way he talked, the way he laughed
How hard he worked
the care that he took from afar
I wanted walks in the park
Southern sweet tea in a mason jar
But........Changing times brought about a halt
The hurt couldn't have come any quicker
Cinderella relinquished the glass slipper
He was no comparison to anyone else
My love for him in a league of its own
Pained me to let go of the person id known
 
Its really makes me think
I have only had a special love with one person
.....one person that was out of my reach
Out of all the lessons learned,
the biggest one was learning to never
fall for someone you know you can't have. :'(