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I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
”I’m Not Alone”
In my walks I chase blue skies at night
When the living of day go inside.
In the hopes it was fantasy’s flight,
And the evening, when I come alive.
And my every care gone with the sun
As the cool air of dusk starts to spin.
With a soft touch of breezes undone
That exhale hyacinth I breathe in.
All about the stars wheel thru’ the trees
Linking hands in a park on my own.
Rustled whisper of tender new leaves
To remind me that I’m not alone.
NaPoGloPoWriMo 2019
In my walks I chase blue skies at night
When the living of day go inside.
In the hopes it was fantasy’s flight,
And the evening, when I come alive.
And my every care gone with the sun
As the cool air of dusk starts to spin.
With a soft touch of breezes undone
That exhale hyacinth I breathe in.
All about the stars wheel thru’ the trees
Linking hands in a park on my own.
Rustled whisper of tender new leaves
To remind me that I’m not alone.
NaPoGloPoWriMo 2019
Written by
Heaven_sent_Kathy
Published 17th Apr 2019
Author's Note
17/30
68 unique words
68 unique words
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 11
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Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
The juxtaposition in the first stanza is interesting, chasing the blue sky at night. I feel like the word "wheel" between stars and thru' would lend more visual wonder to the poem and have a pleasant syllabic effect in conjunction with trees and leaves, that long E sound you know. "All about stars wheel thru' the trees." This was relatable and had a tender quality that made it winsome.
Daniel
Daniel
2
Re: Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
Thank you for your suggestion Daniel. "Wheel" seems a pleasant choice yes, but you've changed the line from 9 to 8 syllables (the entire poem is 9-syllable line count throughout). Fortunately, something came to me soon after, and I've made the edit, most agreeably. I appreciate your knowledge and insight, sir Poet.
blessings
Kathy
blessings
Kathy
Re: Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
17th Apr 2019 10:11pm
Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
17th Apr 2019 11:06pm
I like the way the first line of 9 single-syllable words introduces the rhythm - as well as it being a great image-pushing opening line. Great rhyming and attention to poetic detail.
1
Re: Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
18th Apr 2019 4:02pm
Thank you very much. A humbling praise, coming from your caliber, poet Josh.
blessings
Kathy
blessings
Kathy
Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
18th Apr 2019 4:10am
That exhale hyacinth I breathe in.
I LOVE hyacinth next to wisteria and English tea roses with honeysuckle. Such beautiful aromas spring gives us!
Just lovely, Kathy! I truly enjoyed.
I LOVE hyacinth next to wisteria and English tea roses with honeysuckle. Such beautiful aromas spring gives us!
Just lovely, Kathy! I truly enjoyed.
1
Re: Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
Thank you Dear One, with soul satisfaction to offer a writing that gives you such delight. I also love these same flowers. I remember honeysuckle thick on the high redwood fence around the back yard, and gardenias ( !! ) growing alongside the patio in a dark rich soil. The two scents combined would have me tipsy!
I'm glad you were smiling... maybe the way I'm smiling at this moment.
Kathy xo
I'm glad you were smiling... maybe the way I'm smiling at this moment.
Kathy xo
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
18th Apr 2019 8:37am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
18th Apr 2019 4:06pm
A thanks of gratitude dear Melia. Your place of birth and growth must have put you in such an advantage, to mingle and become a circuit to the spirits that surround the elements of every kind. I'm honored by your appreciation and support.
blessings
Kathy
blessings
Kathy
Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
I keep returning to immerse myself in fresh readings of this aesthetic write, from which I come away with a serenity that restores.
🙏🏻🌸
🙏🏻🌸
1
Re: Re. I’m Not Alone: Notes of an Online Journal
18th Apr 2019 4:09pm
Oh my, Jade... if I could establish such a place in everything I write,..
if only
if only