SAND SPILL  (12-29-05, noon, East Beach, Galveston Island, Texas)

all the countless  
wasted moments  
of so much    
wasted time    
within so many  
wasted days  
collectively combined  
add up perhaps  
into so many  
wasted years  
of so much    
wasted life  
or so it often  
seems or feels  
where so many  
wasted thoughts    
combined with  
internalized emotions  
gave birth  
to even more  
wasted words  
and consequential  
choices    
which too often  
resulted  
in even more  
wasted love  
that in turn  
would usually    
trigger and spawn  
old and new  
subconscious wounds  
grievous    
haunted voices  
come to shed  
deep waterfalls  
of timeless  
painful  
wasted tears  
which cut    
and burned    
right through  
every outer    
and inner barrier  
of sand or stone  
of blood and bone  
to quickly    
crumble and erode  
my delusional  
defenseless  
life wearied    
fortress walls  
of so much  
endless struggle  
within this  
inner battle  
of my own  
as much  
the larger worlds  
somewhere between  
beyond  
all truth  
and fear  
where its    
so hard    
at times  
to either discern  
or know  
why any of us  
are even here  
so vain  
and foolish  
in all our mostly  
egoically selfish  
yet sometimes even  
selfless    
efforts  
at trying to carry  
the impossible weight  
of all suffering  
in this world  
upon our conscience  
in our minds  
or deeper still  
within our    
mortal hearts  
and eternal souls  
as well  
as we create  
within their hold  
this relentless  
crippling burden  
which keeps us  
from ever truly  
soaring freely  
or living fully  
in our lives  
as we become  
little more  
than all these  
self caged birds  
singing out  
our much    
too late  
remorseful songs  
of melancholic  
inner longing  
for all our  
diminished freedoms  
gone  
surrendered  
lost or stolen  
as tragically much  
a waste themselves  
as is  
the vastly greater  
collective waste  
of all in sum  
that we have  
somehow  
all now  
become as well  
beyond belief  
beyond all hope  
beyond relief  
yet still  
alas  
each loss  
as much  
a waste alone
itself
as is  
the greater collective  
waste  
of all else  
still left  
unfinished or unbegun
unlived  unloved  
or otherwise left
for whatever reason
still yet
unresolved  
here in this  
only temporal  
completely illusory  
world  
wherein which  
we all  
live out our  
lives  
play out our  
roles  
as best  
we can
with what we re
given
with what we
have
within this  
and each  
and every  
newly reincarnated  
eternally recyclic  
temporal  
illusory lifetimes  
ever mysterious  
ever wondrous  
ever evolving  
soul learning  
journey  
around
the fully awakened
fully
enlightened
highest
transcendent
spiritual
truth
of our
inseparable
ineffable
oneness
with
all