At the Proctologist's Office

Next, I will write about constipation;
Sorry if it's not as fun as reading about masturbation.
Don't you hate a hard turd that won't come out?
Sitting on the toilet is not what life should be about.
You try, with much straining, to push and push;
But, nothing is coming out of your tush.
Whatever you ate must have been heinous;
For, it isn't coming out of your anus.
You finally decide to get some Ex-Lax;
But then, you might to your protologist, send your asshole picture by fax.
But, you are afraid of getting diahrrea;
You decide a laxative is not a good idea.
So, you try to drink a lot of water;
But, you're fighting bathroom time with your teenage daughter.
Then, you decide to eat some prunes;
While you sit and watch cartoons.
Then you try to stick a suppository up your hole;
But, your shit is too hard; it's like a lump of coal.
Then you try some Pepto Bismol in a little cup;
But, that stuff is so nasty that it comes right back up.
So, you finally decide to go to your proctologist;
Which you think is better than going to your wife's gynocologist.
So, your doctor puts on a white glove;
For him, you are not feeling the love.
Then he sticks a few fingers up your ass;
And you feel like you're being sexually harassed.
Then, your cheeks turn red because your shit comes out;
But, that's not what your doctor is laughing about.
He's laughing because you have an erection;
And, for that, he is not wearing protection.
Then you cum all over his face;
And you feel like such a disgrace.
Then you cum right on the floor;
And your doctor yells, "Triple score!"
For, you are no longer holding anything inside;
Because your ass cheeks have been opened wide.