Just Smile and Nod

Grandma, spending time with you is fun,
We watch old movies, a little bit of true crime, and cooking shows,
Those are the things we have in common.
But there are some topic no-nos,
We don't discuss religion or politics,
Or LGBTQIAP+,
I leave out the specifics,
Like my PolarDemiBisexuality, and my Trigenderflux, that would be dangerous,
As well as my Paganism,
I don't want you thinking I'm going to hell, or doing dangerous things.
And you'll think my religion is barbarism,
I love you, so I'll hold in most of my opinions and feelings.
 
I now know a new feeling,
My new anxiety medicine is not letting me have my panic attack,
From all the social interaction of the birthday party, I'm still reeling,
In my head, I'm screaming, but my heart has no feedback.
When we disagree, I just smile and nod,
I don't want you to worry for my soul,
I'm lonely, miss my family, and from my eyes, damming a flood,
I'm holding my pieces together, trying to stay whole.
I want to be free, and just be me,
But for the sake of family, I won't challenge your beliefs,
I'm burying myself in my projects, being a busy little bee,
Trying to keep my patients from eroding away like seacliffs.
 
You're too sweet and innocent,
I can't talk about certain things,
You are content, and conflict from your life is absent,
The rest of my mother's adoptive family is the same,
I am scared,
Please don't look down on me with shame,
But at the same time, I don't need your approval, awkward.
I will be who I will be,
Even if you never know,
I will be me, and be free,
Grandma, your health is declining,
So I'm a wholesome, sweet, Christian, straight, feminine woman, as far as you know.
 
I must remember...just smile and nod,
Just smile and nod.