deepundergroundpoetry.com
noise
I remember fingers tangling together -
In twisted questions and understanding
And songs and photographs,
Noise -
Fills my head.
I cannot keep my eyes open long enough.
Whether it's because of the light or the dark,
I can no longer tell.
I remember fingers tangling in my hair and pulling,
Like I'm doing
Now
As I try to pull the pain out.
As my breath catches once more, I remember
The gasped out plea to stop
Or to continue -
Meshed together in noise and noise and noise
And noise
And
I pound the matress and scream.
I clutch the sheets and sob and
Scratch at my skin
To chase the pain or
The relief, the pleasure -
I can no longer tell.
I remember the weight above me,
The arms around me.
It tempts,
The image of banging my head back to sense
Until it cracks and bleeds.
It tempts,
The sound and image of a glorious merciless bang
Hours a ago.
He stays in my skin.
The hope escapes.
But it doesn't escape me
That the other side of the bed
Is now
Empty.
Published 3rd Apr 2019
Author's Note
Poem 3 of 30, NaPoWriMo 2019.
Image: Ward 81, Oregon State Hospital - Mary Ellen Mark
Music: Close Enough to Kill by Emily Browning -
https://youtu.be/D4IMYysZqbE
A bit of a time jump in the story; I am in currently in pain physically, mentally, and emotionally, and it spoke. Something to tether, something to clutch to.
Image: Ward 81, Oregon State Hospital - Mary Ellen Mark
Music: Close Enough to Kill by Emily Browning -
https://youtu.be/D4IMYysZqbE
A bit of a time jump in the story; I am in currently in pain physically, mentally, and emotionally, and it spoke. Something to tether, something to clutch to.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 7
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The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Apr 2019 4:49pm
4th Apr 2019 6:59pm
- -- .
youve always grasped parts of my very own soul..,
with your slight brushes of graphite
chills, so many of them
youve always grasped parts of my very own soul..,
with your slight brushes of graphite
chills, so many of them
5th Apr 2019 4:58pm
Anonymous
- Edited 8th May 2020 8:45pm
2nd May 2019 3:48am
<< post removed >>
30th Apr 2020 1:08am
31st Jan 2024 2:35pm
A real powerful piece of writing. Hat's off to you for gaining the courage to write about those dark moments.
30th Mar 2024 12:33pm
Thank you so much. This poem feels like a lifetime ago now, your comment gave me a reminder that she somehow made it through those dark moments, somehow. I truly appreciate it.
- C
- C
