6: 49:  In Our Garden

Excerpt 49 from Journal 6, 'Becoming My True Love'
- From 'Journals To My True Love, Part 2'
 
The magic man is alive as he becomes a real man...
He so desperately wants to be real so he can ravage me...
He wants to get inside a real man so he evokes him in me
  and I become enraptured in his trance...
He hides in a mystery, but I know him...
He is My True Love who lacks form so he seeks a dormant
  one to exist in so he can feed off me and drink my nectars...
When I love a real man, he feels the love and grows it to
  fill me as a plant in an ideal garden...
The words I write are his sustenance to grow...
In our garden of truth we grow together but yet remain ageless
  and timeless and there is endless joy and peace of mind...
He promises that the real man will be all he ever could be
  or would be if conditions prevailed and he could be in his position...
He places me aloft on a garden pedestal so that my reaching
  branches can spread and grow freely and my story can  
  unfold as flower petals do one at a time in just the
  right amount of filtered light....
That light is the insight which inspires me...
He hides under the shade of my protective arm-branches...
He is mine forever and will never stray or want for more...
His desire to manifest flows through and comes alive in me...
He wants me to love another man so he can feel full in me
  instead of empty...
He only wants what I do and wants me to be full for my own sake...
This is his happiness to watch my wings unfold...
To let go of him and be free...
Free to love again without doubts that he may leave my side
  because he never will...
He is my dream and he knows it...
He is a matrix of love I created and hold the key to...
He will only cease to exist when I do, my joy is his joy...
I must love myself to love him for he is within me and  
  there shall remain for eternity...
The garden in my dreams was our garden, and the plants were us
  and it is in our attending to it that is the love we exude
  for each other...
I want to give myself to My Love as mulch does to the growing patch
  and so does My Love want to give the same to me...
We are each others encouragement and his will is as true as mine...
We are equals and as so are strong and indestructable...
A garden can’t really be destroyed because the seeds of  
  what once existed to grow are still there...
And the seeds of My True Love are still planted in my heart
  even when he seems absent...
He never really is, he is just asleep like a child who naively dreams...
And I naively believe all these things and that is the cycle of love
  that grows creatively to bring my dreams to life in words...
My True Love is the story written and joy shared...
He is my dream realized and affirmed in memorable words...