Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. heart
Anonymous
27th Mar 2019 4:06pm
<< post removed >>
Re. heart
27th Mar 2019 5:37pm
mind cannot conceive of God...heart, however, can resonate to the universal consciousness...
1
Re: Re. heart
28th Mar 2019 6:21pm
Re. heart
27th Mar 2019 5:48pm
Re. heart
27th Mar 2019 8:24pm
Hey, Monica! Another profound thought! Just a few suggestions in the spirit of honest critique:
heart
( a ) heart holds secrets
the mind cannot recognize
and therefore denies.
I changed the in L1 to a for two reasons; first, so it wouldn't be repeated in L2; and, secondly, so it would enhance the assonance of a.
I also removed that in L2 because it seemed extraneous. As you can see, it works beautifully without it.
Again, proufound observation.
heart
( a ) heart holds secrets
the mind cannot recognize
and therefore denies.
I changed the in L1 to a for two reasons; first, so it wouldn't be repeated in L2; and, secondly, so it would enhance the assonance of a.
I also removed that in L2 because it seemed extraneous. As you can see, it works beautifully without it.
Again, proufound observation.
1
Re: Re. heart
Re. heart
27th Mar 2019 11:43pm
Re: Re. heart
28th Mar 2019 6:24pm
Re. heart
28th Mar 2019 6:21pm
Re. heart
6th Apr 2019 7:52pm