deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Fugist
The dose must be consumed
says the criminal to themselves
judged guilty by desires
if only in their questing mind
that gateway to the beyond
one teaspoon at a time
or the shot finding flesh
injection made without regret
a need to shift the world
a bubble pushed to the left
underneath clasping glass
seeking freedom few will have
offering promises that are kept
unlike the prison of the world
arms wrapped to the back
dungeon of the normative
if the masters realize
the fugist found another life
slipped beyond to secret paths
the medicine would be denied
the end result becomes a cloak
hiding transgression beneath the cloth
squirming with a fervent life
that the accused must surely hide.
© 2019. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20190320.
says the criminal to themselves
judged guilty by desires
if only in their questing mind
that gateway to the beyond
one teaspoon at a time
or the shot finding flesh
injection made without regret
a need to shift the world
a bubble pushed to the left
underneath clasping glass
seeking freedom few will have
offering promises that are kept
unlike the prison of the world
arms wrapped to the back
dungeon of the normative
if the masters realize
the fugist found another life
slipped beyond to secret paths
the medicine would be denied
the end result becomes a cloak
hiding transgression beneath the cloth
squirming with a fervent life
that the accused must surely hide.
© 2019. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20190320.
Published 22nd Mar 2019
Author's Note
The poem “The Fugist” was inspired by another poet’s writing. Their poem started with the line “I waited all morning for my oatmeal to talk” and ended with the line “I’m a fugist”. The work was about transformation through medical therapy. A fugist could be defined as a person who questions whether a choice should be pursued in the time allowed or that a choice will be grasped before it expires.
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22nd Mar 2019 9:18am
I'm with you on things not expiring. This phrasing was pulled from a website that explained the word 'fugit' in financial investment terms:
Fugit
DEFINITION of Fugit
Fugit, from the latin tempus fugit, is the amount of time that an investor believes is left until it would no longer be beneficial to exercise an option early, or the likelihood that an American style option will be used before it expires. The fugit concept was named and created by the economist Mark Garman, a Berkeley professor who studied the optimal time for exercising an American option priced using binomial trees. Fugit calculations are also used with Bermudian options and convertible bonds.
Fugit
DEFINITION of Fugit
Fugit, from the latin tempus fugit, is the amount of time that an investor believes is left until it would no longer be beneficial to exercise an option early, or the likelihood that an American style option will be used before it expires. The fugit concept was named and created by the economist Mark Garman, a Berkeley professor who studied the optimal time for exercising an American option priced using binomial trees. Fugit calculations are also used with Bermudian options and convertible bonds.
22nd Mar 2019 9:22am
I'm probably a far too selfish person. How could I not be when I have ongoing suicidal ideation? With that said, the world is me and the bubble is my relation to others.
I'm in a different position from you. I have a slew of 'contracts' that hold me in my AGAB position. Still, if I could wake up tomorrow as a gal, I'd be SO happy. I am a little jealous that you had the option of immediately moving forward. My age is also a factor. I very slowly became aware of my transfemme identity. It's considerable sped up, moving from a fluid state into a probable binary transwoman goal. Sadly I may not make it there in this lifetime, but heck, I've got a few more years left.
I'm in a different position from you. I have a slew of 'contracts' that hold me in my AGAB position. Still, if I could wake up tomorrow as a gal, I'd be SO happy. I am a little jealous that you had the option of immediately moving forward. My age is also a factor. I very slowly became aware of my transfemme identity. It's considerable sped up, moving from a fluid state into a probable binary transwoman goal. Sadly I may not make it there in this lifetime, but heck, I've got a few more years left.
23rd Mar 2019 1:51pm
"I have you envisioned as in your midlate twenties, but maybe that's your adorable, beautiful avatar of the dancer speaking to me. " That's sweet! :) I'm going to be 54 this year. Most of my friends are in their 20s, so it must rub off on me! I'll message you my FB page so you can see a truer glimpse! I'll have to friend you if you want to see the activism and wokeness behind the dance glam mask.
25th Mar 2019 2:16am
Profile temporarily changed to a pic taken Halloween of 2018. Some people say suicide is selfish. It can be, as most of life is selfish. Full-blown ideation puts the majority of the world aside, more than smaller selfish acts. My version of ideation does involve withdrawal. I don't want to hurt people, and carrying out the action would do that. The irony is that there is almost nothing I can really do to separate myself from those who really care about me. So, I pretend I can. Perhaps this is more self-delusional than selfish.
