LOVES ILLUSIVE  FUTILE DELUSIONS (12-7-18, 4:30pm,  STARBUCKS RESERVE Shop, Palm Springs, California)

i waited
i wandered
i wondered
i wanted
nothing better
nor more
badly
ever
than ive
wanted
you
still all
my waiting
and wandering
my wondering
and wanting
has never
brought me
any closer
at all
to you
thus far
even so
i continue
so blindly
to vainly
in my
own stubborn
madness
here
keep on
waiting
wandering
and wondering
wanting
and futilely
longing for
nothing better
nor more
badly
than to
spend
just
one moment
one hour
one night
or one
sweet deep
lifetime
with you
but if
not
until then
at least
with whatever
closest
approximation
i can
but still
havent found
so far
through
someone else
who seems
to meet
and somewhat
fulfill
the bill
which measures
up to
the high
ideal
to me
you are
the illusory
delusional ideal
ive convinced
myself
to
no avail
for so
many
unfulfilled
years
you alone
have so
long been
to me
and in
my mind
and heart
at least
i repeat
I repeat
so redundantly
here
you still
so unrequitedly
are
yet
seemingly
so out
of reach
as ever
as always
my futile
longing
continues
to ache
despite
my finally
more fully
realizing
that you
and I
are
most likely
at this
point
in my
lifes
distal journey
to never
be
at all