4 Hits and the Beauty of It's Cost Is Not Lost On Me,  (2-14-19, 3:40am, Palm  Springs, California)

           
the gain            
is begotten            
the loss            
is forgotten            
over            
and over            
again            
and again            
right up to            
and near            
the very            
end            
which always            
never            
truly does            
but then            
again            
why not            
ask            
where and            
when            
of why            
and whats            
to lose            
or find            
herein these            
tendrilled            
420 ized            
twisting thoughts            
of looping            
lines            
still clinging on    
to so many    
things    
now so long    
come and gone    
whose still    
lingering ghosts    
still arise    
from time    
to time    
up from somewhere    
deep  unseen    
inside of me    
compelling    
this old need            
in me            
to measure            
the pulse            
and cost            
of lifes pleasures            
against            
the grain            
of my            
own            
bloody pains            
accrued            
over times            
fleeting            
senseless trace            
left here            
presently            
in this crooked    
trackways wake            
from my simply            
not fully believing    
that perhaps           
i ll possibly            
never have            
in my life            
that which            
ive long            
longed for most            
and still            
may yet    
never truly have    
before my journeys    
done          
so long            
as i stay    
stuck            
in this sustained            
larger relooping            
negative nowhere rut            
wherein              
beyond            
my innermost            
core truths    
deeper intuitive knowing            
i first            
came to sense            
this suddenly arisen            
somewhat cryptic thought            
which keeps            
inverting inwardly          
upon itself            
and as such            
has now            
come to be    
as sensed    
as felt    
as thought    
as writ           
as read    
and spoke         
the loss            
is begotten            
the gain            
is forgotten            
on and on            
and on            
again and again            
and again            
right on up            
near and to            
the very end            
of this            
my present            
meandering renegade pens            
vine like            
tangled thoughts            
in looping lines    
now left behind    
me here    
in all these           
420 ized            
collusioned words    
resultant own    
ongoing          
freely tendrilling    
most peculiar dream        
which oddly enough        
seems to have        
somehow        
though        
unintentionally        
inwardly inverted      
to spiral in      
upon itself        
as well      
here still yet      
again        
if for        
nothing else        
than perhaps        
to simply        
arrive at      
these few        
sudden        
final        
end point words    
which just appeared    
here now    
to close with      
in my      
spontaneously released      
420 ized    
wee hour spiraling s  
high as a kite  
stoned word s latest  
freshly tilled  
tendrilled  twisty  
little tale  
released here from  
my corkscrewed pen s  
and this late  
night s  
now seamlessly combined  
free flow  spiraled    
inner spill  
to cast  
and project  
it s inner essence  
out into  
it s newly manifested  
captured vision s  
own strange  
free expression here  
for whatever  
unknown  
mysterious purpose  
other than  
and beyond perhaps  
some equally deep  
yet playful  
innate  primal  
need for it  
through me  
to simply be  
let out  
set free  
at last  
from mystery  
into further unknown  
but now shown  
actual form  
and being  
here in this  
still nonetheless  
passing  temporal  
yet ever wondrous    
illusory world  
of transcendently  
necessary  
transformational  
impermanence
through which
and in which
we all may
come
to eventually realize
and ultimately know
the highest
most radiant truth
of our own
true innermost nature
as eternal beings
each and all
forever
inseparable
as one
in this ineffable
oneness
we are