Scum bag

I didn't want to believe,  
believe that you would damage me again.  
believe that you would cheat,  
as if i didn't give you enough.  
I tried,  
I tried to make you see the love i gave was the real thing.  
Wanting to marry you was our dream,  
or was it mine?  
I know it was probably my fault,  
I blamed you from the very start of it,  
we got back together but i was left with the past pain you presented to me,  
I was so stupid to fall back.  
An abortion you forced on me should have been enough to leave,  
Why is it that i fell back?  
That baby could have been my family,  
my everything.  
You took it from me,  
and now i'm here worrying about where i'm going to go,  
or how i'm going to start to live my life again so freely without you by my side,  
as if you were ever there.  
The nights at the beach were probably just a dream,  
Those conversations of our past are just haunting me,  
You cared for less than five seconds
and that was the only good thing that you ever gave me.  
I wish i can pretend like everything is fine,  
I wish i can just be blind.  
I thought so many things,  
and leaving you was never on my mind.