deepundergroundpoetry.com
Prey
Published 17th Dec 2018
Author's Note
Copyright © 2018 David Macleod All Rights Reserved. No part of this Poem may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of David Macleod. dtmacleod@easy.com
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 680
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
17th Dec 2018 11:29pm
26th Feb 2019 5:00am
Anonymous
- Edited 18th Dec 2018 00:40am
18th Dec 2018 00:37am
This reminds me of a quote I read in a book when growing up that always stuck with me:
“We are the ones
on who’s tombs
they’ll inscribe:
‘Died at 15,
buried at 75’
Out of the night
you’ll breathe a sigh,
for the ones who are dead
yet cannot die.”
Cheery or what. 👍🏻
In the spirit of honest critique, if it was me... I’d swap those two end lines around. Purely because finishing on ‘dead’ gives a poem about death row more weight. I do however like the juxtaposition of the word “prey” instead of “pray” suggesting a more sinister sideline than the religious connotations of death - that was really good.
That being said, fascinating subject matter.
I watched a documentary about this once where they described guards shoving sanitary towels into the arses of the condemned so they don’t shit themselves when they die... I mean there’s just no fucking dignity there whatsoever.
Neat little thought provoker. Thanks for sharing.
-Gonk
“We are the ones
on who’s tombs
they’ll inscribe:
‘Died at 15,
buried at 75’
Out of the night
you’ll breathe a sigh,
for the ones who are dead
yet cannot die.”
Cheery or what. 👍🏻
In the spirit of honest critique, if it was me... I’d swap those two end lines around. Purely because finishing on ‘dead’ gives a poem about death row more weight. I do however like the juxtaposition of the word “prey” instead of “pray” suggesting a more sinister sideline than the religious connotations of death - that was really good.
That being said, fascinating subject matter.
I watched a documentary about this once where they described guards shoving sanitary towels into the arses of the condemned so they don’t shit themselves when they die... I mean there’s just no fucking dignity there whatsoever.
Neat little thought provoker. Thanks for sharing.
-Gonk
26th Feb 2019 5:01am
sometimes dew words make people think :-)))))))))))))
thank you twat :-))))))))))
thank you twat :-))))))))))
18th Dec 2018 1:56am
26th Feb 2019 5:02am
18th Dec 2018 5:58am
Ooof! This hits hard. You have such a knack for limerick-ish styles and short pieces.
26th Feb 2019 5:03am
