Senryu - Sex

Sorry not qualified to give you tech feedback but a beautiful read.

Thank you, as long as it was enjoyed the technical side of it isn't so important.

Such a satisfying poem. To my mind perfect :)

Thank you that is very kind of you 😊

I don't know the senryu form but I know this is a very clever write.  My favorite lines:

Rapturous climax
Our song, the cry of angels
Our release melding

Also, I've got to say I love the structure, the forms of play.  Excellent work, Rjm.

Thank you friend. I'm glad the structure came across well, didn't want it to seem too much like words forced to a certain form.

Thank you 😊

Damn have you done it again and even better!! Incredibly delicious stuff here. I must give this a go, thank you for introducing me to something unknown too.

Thank You, definetly worth a try. I tend to get so hung up on rhymes that I don't try many other poem forms.

I’ve taught the form of senryu in Japanese short form workshop. There are a number of points I’d impart to you but dinner awaits. If you’d like, I could pm you notes of my thoughts in nearest future.
But meantime, just so you know:

You’ve got linked senryu published here. Linked haiku, and linked senryu (a concept in the form of haiku) in sets like this are called renga.

Hope to talk again.

Jade🐾

Thank you very much. Yes if you ever have a free moment and feel like enlightening a novice I would be incredibly grateful for a pm to point me in the right direction...if I'm honest all I did was read a bit about the poetry form/style on Wikipedia and tried to emulate what I had read...not very professional I know 😊. I look forward to hearing from you.

Have you made a first try and have  composed a Quatern to show me? You can pm me a copy/paste of it for me to look it over.

And how are things going for you since joining?