FUCK

I have many favorite lines in this world. Quotes from my favorite songs or just something I stumbled over... It's lines that makes me feel something. It scares me to feel in some wierd way. It scares me to have to think. 'cause my dreams are turning in to nightmares and my smiles are slowly loosing its meaning.
"I'm just a stranger in a strange land"
That describes alot. I feel like this. Everything is so... strange suddenly. How did this happen? How did the trees lose their color, how did friends lose their names. How did I lose my face.
"Non sum qualis eram" I'm not what I was. Jeg er ikke hvad jeg var engang.
In no way. I lost that. I lost so much.
I'm pathetic. I know it, but I don't know... Maybe I'm just here to breath, and then one day I will stop. Hopefully not soon. I like living. I do.
I like to freeze too. I like to feel the cold crawling inside my bones, 'cause then I have an excuse to crawl into your arms, hide in your chest and behind my eyelids. Then I have an excuse to drown myself in a blanket.
"Lost in a daydream, what do you see?"
I see monsters and hurting and liars trying to cut me down. I see an empty body walking around with dead doll-like eyes, and a beautiful smile painted around her mouth, forced on her lips. I'm afraid that girl might be me.
"No matter how many breath that you took, you still couldnt breathe"
No... I can't.
It's like I'm on the bottom of a black sea. It is so beautiful. The devils hand brushing my pale, crumbling skin makes it sound so nice to stay here. Convincing me to stay and don't swim. Forget how to breath. Forget how to live.
I don't want to. I don't....
Silence scares the crab out of me. It reveils truth. I makes sounds so loud, and oh, I feel like screaming when it gets to loud.
Eating lost it's concept.
Fire burned my nerves. What does feeling feel like?
What am I saying? What is going on...


Fuck.