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Filling Station ( After Elizabeth Bishop )
Oil-ladened landscape
atop a filthy plot of concrete -
its native inhabitants
connoisseurs of grease;
their laborious toil rotates
lubricating worldly wheels
of cadillac sevilles and corvettes
You sought, found life beyond globular
molds of oil saturating cracks
across a dirty reality check;
Texas crude bubbling up, black gold --
except for the blue collar coveralls
stained with its blood
A crocheted doily, red begonia
or, perhaps it was orange, autumnal
burnt sienna complementing
worn comic books fingerprinting
each grease monkey attending
this kindred career center
Your camel cigarette ashen, astutely
observing - ESSO-SO-SO-SO-ING
the burgeoning pearl
within an otherwise worthless oyster
dredged from a contaminated sea
of commercialism:
LO-LO-LO-LOVE
and family
~
Inspiration:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/52193/filling-station
#ElizabethBishop
atop a filthy plot of concrete -
its native inhabitants
connoisseurs of grease;
their laborious toil rotates
lubricating worldly wheels
of cadillac sevilles and corvettes
You sought, found life beyond globular
molds of oil saturating cracks
across a dirty reality check;
Texas crude bubbling up, black gold --
except for the blue collar coveralls
stained with its blood
A crocheted doily, red begonia
or, perhaps it was orange, autumnal
burnt sienna complementing
worn comic books fingerprinting
each grease monkey attending
this kindred career center
Your camel cigarette ashen, astutely
observing - ESSO-SO-SO-SO-ING
the burgeoning pearl
within an otherwise worthless oyster
dredged from a contaminated sea
of commercialism:
LO-LO-LO-LOVE
and family
~
Inspiration:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/52193/filling-station
#ElizabethBishop
Published 1st Nov 2018
| Edited 29th Nov 2018
Author's Note
After Elizabeth Bishop - A non-entry for The Moth-Man competition:
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/10456/#433959
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/10456/#433959
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 1063
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Nov 2018 2:14pm
A pristine representation of what a look into what this life entails n looks like... love how you
always shine spillin ur gift!
always shine spillin ur gift!
1st Nov 2018 5:15pm
Anonymous
1st Nov 2018 4:25pm
As a former grease pit monkey, I can really appreciate this. I reeked of oil and diesel and rarely came clean after a thorough scrubbing. Not much love goes into a garage, except for the affection of vintage autos and shiny tools in metal boxes. You did Bishop's Filling Station great justice. ❤📝
💜💑💋
💜💑💋
1st Nov 2018 5:14pm
Thank you! 💜💋
If you were a grease monkey I'd Love You just as much. 🐒
I can't wait to read yours. 📝
If you were a grease monkey I'd Love You just as much. 🐒
I can't wait to read yours. 📝
1st Nov 2018 4:39pm
Basking in remembrance, DX station, 10 cent Coco Cola machine, my crush on the handsome boy in his uniform with a rag in his back pocket... "Want me to check under the hood for you"... as mom stopped to fill the tank.
Thank you for the little journey back to childhood.
Sorry, its the only solace I can find within the thought of; "What have we done".
Thank you for the little journey back to childhood.
Sorry, its the only solace I can find within the thought of; "What have we done".
That's a poem begging to be written, Teri. You should totally enter the comp.
Thank you. ☺
Thank you. ☺
2nd Nov 2018 00:08am
A,
'perhaps it was orange, autumnal
burnt sienna complementing
the worn comic books' and the stanza above it were perfectly composed...you dance and bathe in beautiful imagery. Oozes harsh realities of, for me, foreign landscape. With love, always.
'perhaps it was orange, autumnal
burnt sienna complementing
the worn comic books' and the stanza above it were perfectly composed...you dance and bathe in beautiful imagery. Oozes harsh realities of, for me, foreign landscape. With love, always.
2nd Nov 2018 00:11am
Thank you, Poppy!
You MUST enter this comp! I thought of you when developing it - your gift for imagery is practically unmatched. It was in Bishop's blood.
Please consider.
You MUST enter this comp! I thought of you when developing it - your gift for imagery is practically unmatched. It was in Bishop's blood.
Please consider.
2nd Nov 2018 5:49am
this has really, really well-crafted visuals. very neat. one bit of feedback for L18-19 in the 3rd stanza:
A crocheted doily, red begonia
or, perhaps it was orange, autumnal
burnt sienna complementing
the worn comic books
fingerprinting the identity
of each grease monkey attending
this kindred career center
this stanza in general is my favorite in the entire piece, and reads like it has a nice rhythm and momentum with pretty consistent use of present progressive verbs; it kind of puts me in the scene, so to speak. But "...the identity of..." kind of throws it off a bit. i'd personally lean for just "...fingerprinting / each grease monkey...", and place a line break wherever you think is best.
other than that, i think the imagery's my other favorite part of this poem. it really paints the scene.
A crocheted doily, red begonia
or, perhaps it was orange, autumnal
burnt sienna complementing
the worn comic books
fingerprinting the identity
of each grease monkey attending
this kindred career center
this stanza in general is my favorite in the entire piece, and reads like it has a nice rhythm and momentum with pretty consistent use of present progressive verbs; it kind of puts me in the scene, so to speak. But "...the identity of..." kind of throws it off a bit. i'd personally lean for just "...fingerprinting / each grease monkey...", and place a line break wherever you think is best.
other than that, i think the imagery's my other favorite part of this poem. it really paints the scene.
Thank you. ☺
Imagery was one of Bishop's poetic jewels, so it helps to know I'm getting that right.
I struggled a bit with that phrase, so will more than likely revisit. I appreciate your eye and honesty.
Imagery was one of Bishop's poetic jewels, so it helps to know I'm getting that right.
I struggled a bit with that phrase, so will more than likely revisit. I appreciate your eye and honesty.
