I'm So Sick of My Depression

I'm so sick of my depression.

They say every moment is supposed to be a lesson.

What does constantly feeling like there's a whole in your chest going to teach you?

Nothing.

Just suffering.

You scream in your head,

Begging for the pain to end.

"you don't want to die, you just want to be saved."

I'm not that brave.

"You're so strong."

Oh, you couldn't be more wrong.

When I'm alone, the very foundation of my being quakes.

My heart breaks for the girl I used to be.

I grieve for the woman that can barely breathe.

Inhale. Exhale, repeat.

Coffee and cigarretes.

For breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Just wanting to be thinner.

But I know I need to eat.

I can't go back...

What I did was such a feat...

mental illness is this worlds obssession.

but lord knows.

I really hate my depression.