Letters To A Young Poet - III

Hotel Casa Penhas Douradas,    
Serra da Estrela Mountains  
Central Portugal  
   
My dearest J,  
   
Today is hot so I have travelled with your aunt to a lake high up in the Estrela mountains where there is a new ‘boutique hotel’ - expensive but we have stretched ourselves to a couple of cappuccinos which they do really well. At 1500m it is cool, and with stunning views over Covilha to the south. I shall later take a swim in the lake.  
   
And so to your third letter - the nightmares which began the day after grandpa died. You describe it very clearly, also becoming fearful of sudden noises and of going outside. And now you are worrying you might be going slightly mad and end up in a mental institution. My dearest J, I can absolutely assure you, you will NOT end up in a mental institution - and having nightmares in a dormitory of 20 plus boys telling you to shut up and “go and see matron” does nothing to change this.  
   
What you are experiencing is known as ‘family karma’. Some are more extreme than others but they apply to everyone. No-one escapes this. Those who have fought wars, mostly conscripted against their will, have had experiences they were unable to come to terms with themselves, your father included - and so they get passed down the generations.    
   
Everyone has their own ‘portion’ of karma, if I can put it that way. And yet, hidden in it somewhere, somehow, is a precious gift released into your life when you finally find your own peace on the matter. In that sense, you face it not only for yourself but for your father and grandfather, (and for your ancestors too as I learned from my travels in the Americas).  
   
Do not take what I am saying as an extra burden. You do this for yourself and the more you stay true to your own path, the more you genuinely help both yourself and others. Since I am sitting next to your wonderful Aunt Veronika who writes fairytales, I’ve just had the idea to send you one of hers, “The Two Owls”. Here it is: https://www.wattpad.com/story/156554442-the-two-owls  
   
There is a common misconception that doing what energises us is ‘selfish’. Duty demands we are to ‘serve others’ and ‘not to count the cost’. Well, there is a right kind of selfishness and a wrong kind of selfishness. And it is the right kind of selfishness that will ultimately lead us to serve others in the best way.  
   
One day you will surely come to a full understanding of these nightmares and, as the Buddhists say, “understanding relieves suffering”. I am convinced you will then experience a flowering of your artistic and poetic expression. In this respect I shall be your staunchest ally.  
   
The best you can do right now, and I know I am repeating myself, is to stay true to your desire to learn and recite poetry off by heart. And by the way, how about starting to write some of your own? Or maybe you already have?  
   
With love and affection,    
Uncle Jocelyn.  
   
   
   
#Rainer Maria Rilke