deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fallen Angel's Left Landing
There was a falling angel
with nowhere to fall on.
Unlike falling stars swooping at
desperate wishers' extended hands
sadistically evaporating in thin air
turning impotent wishes into utter downers,
she kept floating in circles
avoiding landing areas
marked solely for disoriented flying carpets
mindful of self-proclaimed gifted bearing rugs...
And she kept floating
falling and floating forever
unswayed by artificially created screams
unfettered by her broken wings taxing weight
- falling is a necessary
but not sufficient condition for Fallen Angel status -
falling and floating forever
aware if she landed to the left
of everything that was right
she would be alright...
with nowhere to fall on.
Unlike falling stars swooping at
desperate wishers' extended hands
sadistically evaporating in thin air
turning impotent wishes into utter downers,
she kept floating in circles
avoiding landing areas
marked solely for disoriented flying carpets
mindful of self-proclaimed gifted bearing rugs...
And she kept floating
falling and floating forever
unswayed by artificially created screams
unfettered by her broken wings taxing weight
- falling is a necessary
but not sufficient condition for Fallen Angel status -
falling and floating forever
aware if she landed to the left
of everything that was right
she would be alright...
Published 23rd Sep 2018
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comments 4
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The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Sep 2018 3:28pm
Hmmm ... this one gripped me ... kept me thinking ... rethinking ... hooked me from the first line ... bravo takis ...
23rd Sep 2018 5:40pm
... aye, Tak... and those last three lines are a delight, alright...
as long as our angel can keep from falling ALL the way into the alt-right...
my goodness, it's too early in the morning to deal with all those verbal twists...
that set well in the mind but are torture to the tongue... I'll need another cuppa tea for that, m'dear..
This is a fine write, Takk.
I like very much that there's a tweaky little word game wending its way though the piece...
just enough there to throw me off balance... and leading to further perusal...
mebbe you're addictive? Write On Poet! ... Ely
...
This is a fine write,
as long as our angel can keep from falling ALL the way into the alt-right...
my goodness, it's too early in the morning to deal with all those verbal twists...
that set well in the mind but are torture to the tongue... I'll need another cuppa tea for that, m'dear..
This is a fine write, Takk.
I like very much that there's a tweaky little word game wending its way though the piece...
just enough there to throw me off balance... and leading to further perusal...
mebbe you're addictive? Write On Poet! ... Ely
...
This is a fine write,
2nd Oct 2018 10:27pm
28th Nov 2018 8:40pm
Some nice paradox in this one. It also beautifully juxtaposes the dramatic with those last lines, which deliver a straight up dad joke. It's a very fresh, original, and moving effect. Nice work.
