deepundergroundpoetry.com
In the Pen
Contagious ideas spread from cells
get these crazies in their respective hells
nothing guards against their riotous spells
they light synapses and neurons on fire
turn mattresses and blocks into fuel for their pyre
imprisoned, awaiting their freedom to frolic the Elysium fields
escapists in a world of escapism, hollowed truths promised by a liar
they pull their eyes out to look for honesty in a universe where brutal deception never yields
stripes and bars, names and numbers, reduced to a sentence with no reduced sentence
serving life is their life's service, they are designed to sacrifice for a penance
destined to spill forth from the warden of their holding, the hands kill them by the hordes
these inmates dead and bred to be spread again, there is a release in each one of them, mark my words.
Published 21st Sep 2018
| Edited 24th Sep 2018
Author's Note
The ideas we never realize are contained and in a manner of speaking, locked up and forgotten. Imagine them as prisoners, unruly and angry, awaiting their release to a paradise all their own through your hands all you have to do is open the cells and let them out by writing them into reality. This is the concept. That some projects go unfinished is a miscarriage of justice the same way that not all prisoners deserve their sentencing.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Sep 2018 4:58am
So what I am picking up is a take on prison life....the unrest of it....the corruption....the reduction of a human life to a #....from the eyes of those who don’t belong
I could definitely be wrong. 🤔
I could definitely be wrong. 🤔
23rd Sep 2018 5:53am
I don't want to say that you are wrong if that is what you take from it, because I wrote it with a different intention in mind, but open to interpretation as all my poems are.
Regardless I thank you for your time and your take on it. Certainly I made a meaningful impact in a way.
If you'd like to know what I intended I'll tell you below here, so don't read on if you don't want to.
It's a heavy double meaning with the entire prison metaphor. All pertaining to the ideas, opportunities, or even just the time we spend thinking as writers. Honestly a lot of the things people want to accomplish are wasted just like the years of their lives that many prisoners spend incarcerated is the frustration I was trying to convey. How it begins with a reference to activity in the brain and goes inward to that prison and I was trying to create the image of outside the brain, inside the skull, to inside the brain. So maybe in hindsight starting this from second base was too vague or just vague enough.
Regardless I thank you for your time and your take on it. Certainly I made a meaningful impact in a way.
If you'd like to know what I intended I'll tell you below here, so don't read on if you don't want to.
It's a heavy double meaning with the entire prison metaphor. All pertaining to the ideas, opportunities, or even just the time we spend thinking as writers. Honestly a lot of the things people want to accomplish are wasted just like the years of their lives that many prisoners spend incarcerated is the frustration I was trying to convey. How it begins with a reference to activity in the brain and goes inward to that prison and I was trying to create the image of outside the brain, inside the skull, to inside the brain. So maybe in hindsight starting this from second base was too vague or just vague enough.
24th Sep 2018 3:23pm
With knowing your intention for this write it makes it a bit clearer. Some of the metaphors do get a bit out there but overall it gets across. I’ll admit I was having trouble with “Elysian Fields” but ended up taking that as the “incomplete notebook”. I had a note but where some of my writing ideas have been put down to inspire later or meet their end.
Your intention should be included in the author’s notes, just to clear some of the fog a bit.
Again my thoughts and opinions 🙂
Your intention should be included in the author’s notes, just to clear some of the fog a bit.
Again my thoughts and opinions 🙂
24th Sep 2018 8:35pm
I've taken that piece of advice about including my intentions in the author's notes to heart. Thank you. Yes I tend to go even further with metaphors sometimes. Elysian is meant to represent the caged ideas that a writer makes peace with in some way. For example, I've had unfinished books that I've recycled characters from for short stories. It's a release of frustration in what is otherwise a place containing nothing but. I appreciate your time, your thoughts and opinions are always welcome and thank you again.
