Tell All Scope

Eyes of indifference prick the hairs upon my neck like needles
deaf in my void of preparedness, I am unaware
my hands ache and shake, dread crawls over my skin like beetles
it bites into my knuckles, I silence a cry for help and flee from there
I feel the eyes following me, like a gun behind a pillow-y cloud
lightning flashes and rain falls on my head, but the thunder is distant  
I fearfully wait with terror in my heart for the end will be loud...
deafened in the impatience, the lack of the attack I've dreaded every instant
it only assures me the forces gathering are worse than any storm
I cry myself to sleep in the morning, clinging to the sheets of my past to stay warm
it is in times of waiting for the proverbial other boot to drop I've learned
that people will compound their impending doom exponentially until they're frayed and burned
my patience is thin, but not my skin, I've bled for less than this and this is nothing I haven't earned
it is intoxicating in a manner that poisons behavior, the fear of abandonment, failure, and loss
do not let it take control of you should you face it, practice your mindfulness and be unlike me, take charge of your fears and be your own boss.