deepundergroundpoetry.com
world so cold
living in a world so cold
I shiver at the thought
of what life used to be
my voice freezing
unable to talk
the cold winds blow
I feel like i'm going to shatter
in this world so cold I am so alone
not one person to hear me cry
my tears freeze when they leave my eyes
my blood runs cold as if my heart's covered in ice
I shiver at the thought
of what life used to be
my voice freezing
unable to talk
the cold winds blow
I feel like i'm going to shatter
in this world so cold I am so alone
not one person to hear me cry
my tears freeze when they leave my eyes
my blood runs cold as if my heart's covered in ice
Published 19th Sep 2018
| Edited 21st Sep 2018
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 511
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Sep 2018 1:44pm
21st Sep 2018 1:48am
Well. it's a pretty good poem Mathew but you left out the 'y' in they & 'i' should be I if it stands alone.
21st Sep 2018 1:49am
21st Sep 2018 1:56am
my blood runs cold as if my heart is covered in ice
right read better as:
my blood runs cold as if my heart's covered by ice
or
my blood runs cold as if covered by ice
right read better as:
my blood runs cold as if my heart's covered by ice
or
my blood runs cold as if covered by ice
21st Sep 2018 1:59am
21st Sep 2018 2:02am
21st Sep 2018 2:50am
The rawness of this is so vivid....You have put such heart into this piece.
For I can feel it's pulse,its alive.
I have felt this way before and at that moment?Your words were what
my body and mind were going through.....well written.
For I can feel it's pulse,its alive.
I have felt this way before and at that moment?Your words were what
my body and mind were going through.....well written.
21st Sep 2018 3:28am
