My Life I've Grown To Hate

Sitting in this world that I myself created,
a world for sometime now that I have hated.
No one to blame but myself for my mistakes.
Mistakes that control me now just to hard to break.
Staying so nervous or getting so upset,
not wanting to remember just trying to forget.
Trying not to drown in my very own tears,
as I try not to break down from my very own fears.
Trying to walk in the footprints that I laid.
Trying so hard to sleep in the bed that I mad.