deepundergroundpoetry.com
London
Cut through the city like flesh
her screaming voice the sirens
quick to steal your fledgling breath
Rivers threaded with iron
This is my favourite part
when the city night comes on
Dazzling displays of her heart
as lights twinkle one by one
Tube trains runaway horses
cantering into her veins
from a dozen bright sources
Organs exposed to the rain
her screaming voice the sirens
quick to steal your fledgling breath
Rivers threaded with iron
This is my favourite part
when the city night comes on
Dazzling displays of her heart
as lights twinkle one by one
Tube trains runaway horses
cantering into her veins
from a dozen bright sources
Organs exposed to the rain
Published 26th May 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 525
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 7th Sep 2022 7:45pm
26th May 2018 10:34pm
<< post removed >>
26th May 2018 11:16pm
Hullo, and welcome
decent job of it. holds a nice pace, rhythm syllable count and rhyme scheme. your descriptions are decent enough, it'd be no harm to throw a few more in if you were of the mind
I thought the rhyme in the first was good, the verse itself -between the rhyme - didn't shine as clear as the second verse which read very well as did the third. p'raps the first was arranged around the rhyme.
certainly poetry. good stuff, may your time here be shine-full
decent job of it. holds a nice pace, rhythm syllable count and rhyme scheme. your descriptions are decent enough, it'd be no harm to throw a few more in if you were of the mind
I thought the rhyme in the first was good, the verse itself -between the rhyme - didn't shine as clear as the second verse which read very well as did the third. p'raps the first was arranged around the rhyme.
certainly poetry. good stuff, may your time here be shine-full
