I remember when we first met

I remember when we first met
It was like bonnie and clyde
But not that kind of love
It was a love that should've been familiar, but wasn't

I remember the first time you taught me how to draw
The first time you showed me that life was more than black and white
More than depressing and menacing
But more like forgiving and remembering
This was more than just a line on a piece of paper
But more the start of a chapter named "Nana"

I remember the first cross I ever got
It was pink and silver
And my first occurence with God.
You told me to have faith in his plan
But how can I have faith
When he has put you on a time clock
That seems to be going 2x faster than it did yesterday

I remember Indianola
Are long walks and our finding of bearabitha
Even though it wasn't much but a bunch of black berry bushes
It was ours
*pause*
I remember the day you were diagnosed
A thousand missed calls and a million lost texts
But being pulled out of work
To only have my heart drop to my stomach
*pause*
Small cells stage 4 cancer
*pause*
How can i have faith in his plan
When he put you on a time clock







Does he not realize
I want you at my graduation
You always complained that I grew up too fast
But we'd laugh and be glad when the day came
Does he not realize
I want you to be there when I get married
Just in case that i have second thoughts
But to hear your voice say that "I picked right"
Does he not realize
I want you to be there when I have my first child
Because I will be damned if my mom is their other grandma
Because she wouldn't treat them like you would
Does he not realize
That i need you
If heaven wasn't so far away and visits were possible
I might have a second thought

And dear nana,
I don't know if you'll ever hear this poem
But i want you to know
I love you
You're irreplaceable
And when you're gone,
I don't know what i'm gonna do
But for you
I won't give up because i know you'll be watching
And when you're heart falls and loses hope
Just know I'll be there to catch it
Just like you caught mine

And dear nana
I'm not ready say goodbye
So for now
I'll see you soon.