deepundergroundpoetry.com
Desert
Here cactus is king
He wears a crown of thorns
Datura opens up her bright-white gown
Alluring is her beauty
But danger lurks in her chambers
Serpents and scorpions
Hide between the rocks
Bleached skull of coyote
Emerging from torrid, sandy tomb
Dust dances with the devil
Mesquite and Palo Verde
My dear companions offer me relief
From the ruthless scorching sun
Like in a fever dream
Stark lines turn to liquid blurry
And here I am
Waiting for the rain
He wears a crown of thorns
Datura opens up her bright-white gown
Alluring is her beauty
But danger lurks in her chambers
Serpents and scorpions
Hide between the rocks
Bleached skull of coyote
Emerging from torrid, sandy tomb
Dust dances with the devil
Mesquite and Palo Verde
My dear companions offer me relief
From the ruthless scorching sun
Like in a fever dream
Stark lines turn to liquid blurry
And here I am
Waiting for the rain
Published 9th May 2018
| Edited 23rd May 2018
Author's Note
This one is for desert rats.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 578
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th May 2018 6:34pm
9th May 2018 9:49pm
Yr gettin there....keep the write on right on...........&
maybe try to spread your gift for imagery on maybe a wider palette . It seems 'crowded' into each piece.....a bit more breathing room. But i dunno what ahm talkin bout.....
Bless ye..........
maybe try to spread your gift for imagery on maybe a wider palette . It seems 'crowded' into each piece.....a bit more breathing room. But i dunno what ahm talkin bout.....
Bless ye..........
11th May 2018 00:10am
Thanks for the constructive critique. I appreciate it. I strive for minimalism. Just googled haiku. I might try some of those to boil things down. I love the process of learning and refining. What an adventure.
