deepundergroundpoetry.com
Far out
Far out at sea
Mollusks gather
In Poseidon's pubic hair
Mollusks gather
In Poseidon's pubic hair
Published 11th May 2018
Author's Note
I am trying some haiku. Just read about it today. This is my first one, so reader please be patient.....I'm working on it. ; )
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 0
comments 11
reads 570
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th May 2018 3:56am
HA! Excellent. Brought a smile to my face. Thanks i needed that 🤗
Buddhakitty
Buddhakitty
11th May 2018 4:12am
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
11th May 2018 6:45am
<< post removed >>
11th May 2018 3:26pm
Anonymous
11th May 2018 2:05pm
I read this one. Then read it again. And giggled. I like it! Keep 'em coming! :-)
...Willow
...Willow
11th May 2018 3:25pm
20th May 2018 10:38pm
I like the crisp imagery of this piece... great visual... but I keep waiting for ... something...
like a distillation of the piece at the end.
Sorta like stepping firmly on the brakes rather than coasting to a stop. Ely
JMHO
like a distillation of the piece at the end.
Sorta like stepping firmly on the brakes rather than coasting to a stop. Ely
JMHO
20th May 2018 11:10pm
I really appreciate your feedback. It is true, there is an absurd image floating in the ocean...and nothing more. That's the best I could come up with for my first try with haiku. I still do not really understand haiku and for sure didn't adhere to traditional form. I would like to understand it better. Your input helps.
Further study is obviously required.
Further study is obviously required.
21st May 2018 00:15am
I get an image like a Speedo... or the shell belts worn by the Deer Dancers'
Y'know... for your first foray into Haiku, ya done good!
Y'know... for your first foray into Haiku, ya done good!
19th Aug 2018 9:42pm
19th Aug 2018 9:47pm
