Idiot

I feel so slow,
You don't even know,
How dumb I feel,
Or how it's surreal,
Lying there awake at night,
Always struggling with myself,
Always at war, in a fight,
They call me smart,
But why do they lie,
I'm in pain enough,
I just wanna die,
So can they quit their bluff,
Before I commit mine,
People call me strong,
But i'm really weak,
We all sit happy,
With ones we call daddy,
But me, I don't know,
He might be dead,
But not as dead as i'm miserable,
I'd never turn to drugs,
But I would if I could live,
I don't hang with thugs,
But I might if I could die,
And no matter how hard I try,
All I can do is cry...