deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Doll Like Her
He surrenders to her charms
Bleeds out on the bedroom floor
Darkness settles quickly in
As she's heading out the door
She takes the taxi idling at the curb
The driver smirks and makes a pass
She snorts and tells him to get lost
He flips the flag, and hits the gas
He expedites her straight towards hell
Watching in the rear view mirror
Much delight to see her writhe
The meter clicking while he tries to steer
He swerves and makes a sudden right
Drops her off at Beacon Street
Informs her Hell will have to wait
A doll like her enjoys the heat.
Bleeds out on the bedroom floor
Darkness settles quickly in
As she's heading out the door
She takes the taxi idling at the curb
The driver smirks and makes a pass
She snorts and tells him to get lost
He flips the flag, and hits the gas
He expedites her straight towards hell
Watching in the rear view mirror
Much delight to see her writhe
The meter clicking while he tries to steer
He swerves and makes a sudden right
Drops her off at Beacon Street
Informs her Hell will have to wait
A doll like her enjoys the heat.
Published 21st Apr 2018
Author's Note
An attempt at poetry noir.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 11
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The author encourages honest critique.
21st Apr 2018 11:10pm
22nd Apr 2018 7:08pm
22nd Apr 2018 1:55am
22nd Apr 2018 7:11pm
I try for continuity, maybe even a plot if all goes well. I might do this too much, attempting to cram a story into a single poem. Oh well...
Thank you LilDragonFly!
Thank you LilDragonFly!
22nd Apr 2018 5:10am
I picture Bogey portraying the cabby in this one. Sir Crow you peak my imagination with each of your works. Bravo!
22nd Apr 2018 7:12pm
22nd Apr 2018 9:37pm
22nd Apr 2018 4:04pm
Your attempt at poetry noir... is exceptional !
I would’ve thought you’d been writing such, for decades now.
I would’ve thought you’d been writing such, for decades now.
22nd Apr 2018 7:14pm
Thanks Shadow. Only about three or four years so far. I'll try to keep it up in shades of noir.
So there's at least 3 stories going on at once within your noir narrative. The cabdriver... How did he get to be the guide to Hell? Like Gahdess_Worship I saw Bogey, but I also saw that cigar chomping Brooklyn drunk cabbie from Scrooged, who drove Bill Murray. What's the woman's agenda and plan at Beacon Street? (Which doesn't sound like a good place to stop and ask for directions) What's up with whatever poor soul is waiting for her at Beacon Street?
Succubus of Justice. / Her lust opens up and what's within? / Sin spins it / Hardest finish / Depart as her harvest and soak the carpet in 8 minutes.
Succubus of Justice. / Her lust opens up and what's within? / Sin spins it / Hardest finish / Depart as her harvest and soak the carpet in 8 minutes.
22nd Apr 2018 7:18pm
This could use some fleshing out. I have trouble sustaining longer, more detailed narratives and poems, A true weakness, that.
