deepundergroundpoetry.com
FEAR
Entombed within my own fear built from the stones you threw at me. The embodiment of immorality looms outside my door, its heavy tones murmur through my walls with each vulgar breath it takes. Echoes of a past stifle the air I breathe, poisoning my lungs like a venomous seed.
A chasm forms beside my aching bones, giving birth to an ever expanding abyss which pulls me in like a seductive lover, kissing my depleted soul, enticing me to the darkness. In a desperate attempt to release myself I sink my nails into the putrescent earth where my frail body lays spent
Embers burn from what was once hopes raging fire, now a glint of light in an endless void of lost dreams and bitter sweet memories.
Ashes fall like snow, drifting gently through the cold dank air, landing to form a soft grey blanket on my bare emaciated body.
My fears go amiss
As I give myself up
and surrender to the abyss
A chasm forms beside my aching bones, giving birth to an ever expanding abyss which pulls me in like a seductive lover, kissing my depleted soul, enticing me to the darkness. In a desperate attempt to release myself I sink my nails into the putrescent earth where my frail body lays spent
Embers burn from what was once hopes raging fire, now a glint of light in an endless void of lost dreams and bitter sweet memories.
Ashes fall like snow, drifting gently through the cold dank air, landing to form a soft grey blanket on my bare emaciated body.
My fears go amiss
As I give myself up
and surrender to the abyss
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likes 8
reading list entries 2
comments 18
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Re. FEAR
*Ashes fall like snow, drifting gently through the cold dank air,...
landing to form a soft grey blanket on my bare emaciated body...*
... ...
Although there are many adjectives and adverbs, the atmosphere of the poem is being built perfectly.
it really gets to empty out ... "fear".
... ... ... ...
landing to form a soft grey blanket on my bare emaciated body...*
... ...
Although there are many adjectives and adverbs, the atmosphere of the poem is being built perfectly.
it really gets to empty out ... "fear".
... ... ... ...
1
Re: Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 3:04am
Thanks so much for reading this piece and for the great comment too. Much appreciated and I am so pleased you liked it :)
Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 2:32am
WOW! - such amazing description of a personal hell - felt the realness of this amazing piece :-))))
Such a good write :-)))))))
Such a good write :-)))))))
2
Re: Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 3:05am
Thanks ever so much for your lovely comment and for reading. I am finding writing really helps. Better than any counselling session :)
Re: Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 3:48am
Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 12:57pm
Re: Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 2:05pm
Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 3:23pm
Our greatest fear as a species is the unknown. You've brilliantly captured the fear and despair of the lost soul as it vainly struggles to remain attached to its body, only for the growing darkness to suck it into the abyss, into the unknown.
Well done, and welcome to DUP!
Well done, and welcome to DUP!
1
Re: Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 4:54pm
Thank you so much for your great comment which is so very appreachiated. And thank you for the warm welcome
Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 3:57pm
Re: Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 4:55pm
Thanks so very much for the lovely comment I am so pleased you liked this piece. Thanks for taking the time to read my piece
Anonymous
- Edited 26th May 2018 6:48pm
11th Mar 2018 6:53pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. FEAR
11th Mar 2018 7:35pm
Re. FEAR
12th Mar 2018 3:29pm
Taking a trip into the abyss, man haven't we all been there.... Sometimes when life just gets to be a bit too much and we are just too tired to fight any longer we just allow ourselves to fall right into the abyss..... I love the flow here....
~BSavvy
~BSavvy
1
Re: Re. FEAR
12th Mar 2018 4:59pm
Thanks ever so much, such a lovely comment. We can feel quite defeated at times
Re. FEAR
Anonymous
12th Mar 2018 5:38pm
Wow I love how u woven these words together...like a well trained seamstress...
This was magnificent!
Love Autumn xox
This was magnificent!
Love Autumn xox
1
Re: Re. FEAR
12th Mar 2018 6:37pm
I love your comment "A well trained seamstress"
So glad you liked it lovely
Love :) xx
So glad you liked it lovely
Love :) xx