deepundergroundpoetry.com
COUNTRY MATTERS
Deep rumbles of thunder
natures timpani
usher in dark gray clouds
heavy with rain
streaks of lightning
slash the Summer sky
the smell of damp earth
mixed with wet hay
refresh and comfort the scene
intermittent moans of passion sound
mid the whistling wind
coursing through gaps
in the sun-bleached red planks
of the ancient barn
she hovers over him
her hair the golden color
of the straw that makes
their lover’s bed
like a newborn babe
he suckles her breasts
as she gently rocks to and fro
on his stalk
rooted deep in her warm, humid soil
bending down
she meets his lips
closing nature’s circle
natures timpani
usher in dark gray clouds
heavy with rain
streaks of lightning
slash the Summer sky
the smell of damp earth
mixed with wet hay
refresh and comfort the scene
intermittent moans of passion sound
mid the whistling wind
coursing through gaps
in the sun-bleached red planks
of the ancient barn
she hovers over him
her hair the golden color
of the straw that makes
their lover’s bed
like a newborn babe
he suckles her breasts
as she gently rocks to and fro
on his stalk
rooted deep in her warm, humid soil
bending down
she meets his lips
closing nature’s circle
Published 19th Feb 2018
| Edited 10th Jun 2019
Author's Note
Image of barn is untitled and unattributed found in a Google search.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 18
reads 1118
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Feb 2018 5:50pm
That's a beautiful picture you've painted here.
What better way to keep dry amidst the storm
than creating your own more pleasant one.
Eloquent expression, Bob.
What better way to keep dry amidst the storm
than creating your own more pleasant one.
Eloquent expression, Bob.
19th Feb 2018 5:59pm
Thank you Teri! Writing this one was a sensory pleasure for me. I love the smell of the soil after rain and the scent of love equally.
20th Feb 2018 5:14am
Very Lawrencian. And beautifully wedding the forces of nature with human passion. You might note in the last stanza you probably meant "meets" instead of "meet".
20th Feb 2018 6:01am
I did indeed mean meets. Thank you CandyCrier! You make me better. I felt this spiritual symbiosis when I wrote this piece. I appreciate your helpful and encouraging comment.
Cheers!
Cheers!
Anonymous
20th Feb 2018 9:30am
That petrichor smell intertwined with the passion - colouring a beautiful aromatic scene :)
20th Feb 2018 10:34am
"petrichor" what a great word! Thanks for teaching me...again. I am glad you picked up on the aromatic quality of the peace. Thank you for reading me and saying such kind things about my work.
21st Feb 2018 00:55am
Beautiful writing Gahddess, I am speechless. Every flavor was tasted, every scent smelled, and my heart was touched :)
- Fairy
- Fairy
21st Feb 2018 1:00am
I am so happy to know that you had an enjoyable sensory experience with this piece because that's what I had when I wrote it. Thank you so much for your kind words.
This is too good to be true, even made me not know how to commenet. Love the details like pictures, or like mover scenes. You have depicted the natural phenomenon for me, and I really can see them, smell them and hear them. That's an amazing reading experience!
Really beautifully written!
much love
RoseJasmine
Really beautifully written!
much love
RoseJasmine
24th Feb 2018 8:34am
RoseJasmine, Wow! I am honored by your comment. That I can tickle your senses is a joyous thing. 非常感谢
28th Feb 2018 4:48pm
28th Feb 2018 4:57pm
9th Mar 2018 4:12am
9th Mar 2018 4:24am
Thank you so much Jakyla. I try to make it an experience for the 5 senses I am glad you like the piece.
11th Jun 2019 4:13am
You mastered a very descriptive picture here, your imagery was on point, just like it should be...thank you for your entry! It's gonna be a toughie!
11th Jun 2019 7:42am
Thank you so much Pandora! I am honored you read the piece and enjoyed the scene.
Anonymous
- Edited 1st Nov 2024 6:45pm
20th May 2023 2:13am
<< post removed >>
20th May 2023 2:51am
I love, "I am floating in this moment." A beautiful image, indeed. I am thrilled that you like this piece....it's one of my favorites because it was a full on sensory experience writing the poem.
I love the image of droplets streaming down bare, creamy skin.💞
I love the image of droplets streaming down bare, creamy skin.💞
