deepundergroundpoetry.com
Noises from the Bum Haikus 7.0
(i) Disaster
Not an earthquake
nine points on the sphincter scale
the bum it rumbles
(ii) Silent Service
silently sneaked
smell reveals the guilty
don't just blame the dog
(iii) All That Jazz
bottom drawer jazz
Louis Armstrong up my ass
blowing his trumpet
(iv) Two senses
noises from the bum
making my nostrils quite numb
noise that also hums
(v) Awareness
strangely unclear
be sure it's just a fart not
a poo in waiting
(vi) Trapped
Farting can be fun
enclosed spaces are the best
elevator lifts
(vii) Feminism Leads to Farting
there she blows captain
farts not gender specific
women do it to
Not an earthquake
nine points on the sphincter scale
the bum it rumbles
(ii) Silent Service
silently sneaked
smell reveals the guilty
don't just blame the dog
(iii) All That Jazz
bottom drawer jazz
Louis Armstrong up my ass
blowing his trumpet
(iv) Two senses
noises from the bum
making my nostrils quite numb
noise that also hums
(v) Awareness
strangely unclear
be sure it's just a fart not
a poo in waiting
(vi) Trapped
Farting can be fun
enclosed spaces are the best
elevator lifts
(vii) Feminism Leads to Farting
there she blows captain
farts not gender specific
women do it to
Published 16th Feb 2018
Author's Note
Copyright © 2018 David Macleod All Rights Reserved. No part of this Poem may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of David Macleod. dtmacleod@easy.com
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 12
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The author encourages honest critique.
16th Feb 2018 6:46am
18th Feb 2018 4:52am
Anonymous
16th Feb 2018 4:37pm
Oh my gods, David! My dad would have been howling with laughter at these. He was the master of the one cheek sneak. If he lifted quietly up on one arm, we all knew to run...leaving him with tears of laughter streaming down his face. Gods, I miss him. Thank you for the walk down memory lane with him this morning. :-)
Big huge hugs! :-)
...Willow
Big huge hugs! :-)
...Willow
18th Feb 2018 4:53am
making you laugh and having pleasant memories makes writing this poem worthwhile :-)))))
Huge big Hugs :-))))))
Huge big Hugs :-))))))
16th Feb 2018 5:16pm
Hahaha #1... the sphincter scale! xD
And #5 may also be referred to as sharting, just in case you needed to know...
Although having proven #7 I think you know by now that my knowledge of such topic is very healthy =)
Too many giggles and even more loving hugs! <3
And #5 may also be referred to as sharting, just in case you needed to know...
Although having proven #7 I think you know by now that my knowledge of such topic is very healthy =)
Too many giggles and even more loving hugs! <3
18th Feb 2018 4:55am
thanks for sharing sharting I will use that in a new poem :-)))))))
always glad to make you giggle :-))))) Love and hugs :-)))) <3 <3
always glad to make you giggle :-))))) Love and hugs :-)))) <3 <3
16th Feb 2018 10:16pm
Love the lightness and the topic..
a very rare topic
Many to learn from this...
H
a very rare topic
Many to learn from this...
H
18th Feb 2018 4:56am
17th Feb 2018 4:10am
I like the way you sort this out like an informative guide with the graph at the top like something you'd see in a pamphlet in an elevator or on a crowded city train. Clever thinking and always funny stuff . HEeehee
18th Feb 2018 4:59am
ah my friend I am so glad the you enjoyed this one :-)))))
thank you for the visit and comment :-)))))
thank you for the visit and comment :-)))))
19th Feb 2018 11:02am
20th Feb 2018 11:30pm
