I saw you

I saw you again today and you didn't see me
but that's ok, I know I'm not much to look at
You looked sad, and I wanted to say it'll be ok
but I don't know that it will, I don't know your story
I wanted to hold your hand, as you walked to wherever
I wanted to tell you that you were beautiful
 
I saw you again today and you said hi as we passed
and I said hi too, at the same time, it was awkward
You looked happy, music poured from your earphones
a slick funky rhythm that made my heart beat faster
I wanted to dance with you, the two of us moving together
I wanted to spin with you so that we felt like we were flying
 
I missed you today you weren't where you usually are,
and I worried for a minute, that something was wrong
a thousand reasons you could be gone, a thousand images
I wished that I could call you and ask you if you were ok
I wanted to be the person you call when you needed help
I wanted to hold you and stroke your hair until it was better
 
I saw you again today, and I saw him too
and I looked down as we passed at your fingers interlaced
you were laughing and I wanted to cry
and my breath caught, thick in my throat
I wanted what he had, not you but the moments with you
I wanted breakfast conversations and cuddles on the sofa
 
I saw you again today and you said hi as we passed
and I pretended not to hear you, I pretended not to see
how you glowed, and how you looked like the world was yours
and blood rushed to my ears, and they rang and my world got so small
I wanted to be a better man, to say hello and share your smile
I wanted to be a better man, but I am not, I'm just me
 
I walked another way today.