A Time to Turn

She forgives him,    
  has to release him,    
  but forever can't forget him.    

She wants only to forbid him    
  to hurt more,    
  disconcert more,    
  further manipulate,    
  contort more.    
   
He tore her life apart.    
He played a grievous part.    
   
She let him in her heart,    
  but he brought anguish to her soul,      
  dropped her in the blackest hole,      
  did not see her as a whole,    
  a person full of feelings.    
  
She was hurt beyond extreme.   
She was wounded by his need.    
   
He disregarded human treasure,      
  used his power for his leisure,    
  used their trust to steal his pleasure.    
   
She couldn't help but then to measure    
   every motive,      
   every need,      
   every reason for a deed,    
   each new person's kind expression,      
   never trusting first impression,    
   waiting for confession,    
   she would always fear deception.    
   
He thought he could atone with words,      
   but justifying won't be heard.    
   Moving on is not so simple.      
   No regret is found in ritual.    
   
She longed for a new start,    
   tho these ashes stained her heart,    
   a survivor moving forward,    
   like a wave that's reaching shoreward.    
  
She made progress,    
   then fell shy,    
   but she never stopped her try,   
   made her life to glorify    
   the One beside her through this fight,    
   who made the sun shine after night,    
   the only One who could make right    
   from this horror in her life,    
   who'd turn her ache into her strength,    
   whose love could reach
   her deepest depth,    
   whose love could free
   her hope to grow,  
   this seed of faith within her soul,    
   proved life was more than chapter one,    
   said her story'd just begun,    
   for tho she wept 'til day was done,    
   she finds tomorrow,    
   joy will come.    
   
She forgave him    
   and she named him    
   as depraved,  
   and helped constrain him.
  
She found goodness,    
   called it sacred,    
   and she's claimed it -    
   she's embraced it.
  
She found joy    
   and she is safe,    
   found tenderness in God's embrace,    
   feels His healing in that place,    
   and His love shines on her face.    
  
God showed her worth,    
   with His own grace.‬‬    
 
   
"So, I ask...How much were these young women worth? ...the little girls in question are not potential victims. They are real women and children...who have names and faces and souls...I think of the young girl that I was and the little girls and young women all of these survivors were every day... The sparkle their eyes must have had as mine did before their innocence was taken. I watch my daughters love and trust unreservedly and I remember the long road that it has been to let myself love and be loved without fear. I think of the scars that still remain for all of us... you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me -- though I extend that to you as well... I can call what you did evil and wicked because it was. And I know it was... because the straight line exists... not measured based on your perception or anyone else's perception, and this means I can speak the truth about my abuse... And I can call it evil because I know what goodness is."    
-Rachael Denhollander,  from her victim impact statement about her abuser    
        
“I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”    
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:20-23‬ ‭NLT‬‬    
   
“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”    
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭30:5‬b NLT