Intentions

After recent events,
Many people question my intent.
Were my actions really accidental?
Or was what everyone thought real?

Did I try to kill myself?
Why take the bottle from the shelf?
Why take so many pills?
Was it just for thrills?

Did I want to die that day?
Who can really say?
I was drunk and stupid,
That much can't be disputed.

But how true are my words,
The ones everyone has heard.
That I meant no harm,
So please don't be alarmed.

How can I make such a plea,
While people look at me so incredulously?
How do I prove my sanity,
So I can continue to live a life of simplicity?

I ask but one thing,
Please be understanding.
For I am not even sure I know answer that you seek,
Whether I was stupid or weak.

Did I want to die that day?
Does it really matter what I say?