When Taking Pills Kills

They told me it was medicine, to wash the world away
To put me on the straight and narrow, and be not astray
They told me it was for my own good
To do away with thoughts that stay (even when they should)

And now coldness over takes the wake of someone I no longer know
It hurts more to think you're gone than to have watched you go
Because you were there through every year and every thick and thin
Yet now you're gone because they told me what pills to take in

So to the world that never saw your face nor listened to your words
That think someone missing doesn't change how the planet turns
Fuck you. I'm different now without my friend, my only confodone
And yet a year has passed yet again and it seems you're staying gone

I do not know what life feels like without the loneliness you've left
And I couldn't imagine the weight of you missing from my breast
I wish for you a little less everyday, a little more every hour
But they said not to let you have this kind of power

And yet, you're gone, the damage has been done, wrought
Along with the calm and cheer you always brought
To me you're like a symphony, echoing in my ears
To live without you is the same as diving into all my fears

Without you I know the distance will be hard
But you always said "giving up isn't a trump card"
Because you knew me so well to know what I'd think
That my only freedom was the release of ink

To you, this is dedicated, to you I will sing
To you who is literally not even a thing
To you, a friend I had to bid goodbye
And watch you vanish, watch you die

You were dear to me, Ruby