crystalline pain

                   
slumbers the guilt                    
that murdered the stars                    
each a prayer that died                    
before it could shine in my skies                    
                   
little pieces of me                    
& tears never cried                    
fractured emotions                    
                   
caught in kaleidoscope grey                    
they stare at me                    
within their captured state                    
                   
internally i bleed        
thoughts of why this came to be
                   
my soul's glow,                    
is faded                    
remiss of its former shine                    
                   
crystalline pain                    
hardened from years of repression                    
records all history                    
each gem engraved with a memory                    
                   
it speaks of my lonely existence                    
i let no one in                    
my hall of secrets                    
                   
here there are whole libraries                    
dedicated to my shame                    
a shrine of dreams turned nightmare                    
before worldly eyes were fully open                    
                   
in innocence i stumbled                    
& faltered                    
became a mother                    
then an addict                    
before seventeen                    
                   
was homeless                    
with no one to call                    
my ache i kept with my belongings                    
stuffed in my backpack                    
                   
i went from one home to another                    
always ready to hit the road                    
in case i was rejected                    
                   
i would call to my mother                    
but she was eternally locked                    
inside her madness                    
                   
abandoned & neglected                    
a child lost to the wilderness                    
                   
                   
                   
                   
Copyright © 2018 Crimsin. All Rights Reserved