Tristitia (Sloth)

Wow! Only you could capture that moment before sleep, or the first wake. . .not wanting to rise.  

I keep wanting to switch pending and pretty, for some reason.

Thank you! That's an excellent suggestion, and now I can't help but switch it 😆

Lately I've been consistently sleeping in and falling behind in chores, I think it's the dark of winter. I can't be the only one?

This has the privilege (?) of being the first poem that I have read and commented on here!  Anyway, I was about to pass this one over, but the words "featherdown letdown sundown" caught my attention, so I read the rest.  Furthermore, the lines "Featherdown    ... ... in manners of undress " are really quite inventive!

1800 stood out because its a number; words might look better. Similarly with the "&" later on.  Very much enjoyed the rhythm of "into my kindly tender bed" and the lines with single words such as 'tangled', 'heartbeat' are effective.

Wasn't sure about "Transgressions impress spurs "; is there an apostrophe missing on transgressions?

i like the judicious use of alliteration and the line "my hole - my hold - my hovel" is lighthearted :)

It's a very good poem, and the more I read this, the more I like it! It has good structure and rhythm throughout and is both fun and engaging.

Thank you so much! Welcome to DUP, I'm honored to be first, wow! :)

Maybe it would, it was a play on high thread counts (expensive, that I cannot afford) sheets, and when I looked it up, it's usually expressed in numbers.

I really appreciate that, glad you enjoyed It!

My mind of course went to naughty places, and then I found myself seeing into your realm of dreams or the precursor to dreams.  This is where fantasy and reality exist as one, yet still separate.

glory be! you somethin else, love.

It takes me to crisp clean white sheets
in a room with a balcony
maybe a sunrise
just bursting into the blue

the second stanza is a dream world,a shadow world for me but it looks like downtown Knoxville
but blurry
striping us bare for all to see what we really are

stanza 3
"burrowed  
in this haven;    
My hole - my hold - my hovel "-is making me dig my own grave before my very eyes, it reminds me of the Holocaust where they were lining people up to shoot and throw in mass graves naked. Simon Wiesenthal was a famed Nazi hunter and barley survived some crazy shit, hes worth a google.

we fade back into our own dreams

awesome write AtoMik

Dude, I always look forward to your take on everything. I have absolutely no clue what it'll be, and it never fails to brighten my day (even if the references are dark).

I guess this is a bit dark though, so it would naturally ilicit some of that. Thank you again :)

Checking out your stuff, AtoMikbomb, and decided to comment on this simply because it made me laugh and blew me away. Exquisite and in readable font.

Brilliant indeed....each hint of a prick.

Best...David

Thank you so much! So glad you enjoyed, it's extra great when someone likes an older piece 😊