deepundergroundpoetry.com
Broken Tower
What do you see in a million years?
As I look all around me
And relay what I see;
I spy a broken tower
Of acid regret & soapy dreams
Sip pristine saline chandeliers
Held hostage by Iodine windowpanes
From which solemnly they hang
Candy coated doubt in curls of clouds
Thick & glazed like sugarcane
The sour shower of shame scours
Thy subconscious swirls with slumber
As I spy a broken tower
Plunge in a plethora of depravity
Swim in a sea of stupidity
Assassinate the stain of reality &
Sex up a puff of fantasy while the
Earth bleeds and the sky grieves
Crush the rose petals of reason
Damn,I forgot what it felt like to be
In love with Oblivion
As a lamb of my time I had no qualms
Oyster on a silver platter;
Buttered and ready to be devoured
However,it only took a second to dawn
I had to don a pair of red thongs
Before savoring the world in my palm
The storm drowning the calm
I drink the ink of my pain &
Swill the wine of deception
Into a Novocain rain
Let it pour for hours
Until the ground twinkles with stars
And the sky blooms in plush pillows of flowers
Lying awake at a haunted hour
I spy a broken tower.
8282017.SE
As I look all around me
And relay what I see;
I spy a broken tower
Of acid regret & soapy dreams
Sip pristine saline chandeliers
Held hostage by Iodine windowpanes
From which solemnly they hang
Candy coated doubt in curls of clouds
Thick & glazed like sugarcane
The sour shower of shame scours
Thy subconscious swirls with slumber
As I spy a broken tower
Plunge in a plethora of depravity
Swim in a sea of stupidity
Assassinate the stain of reality &
Sex up a puff of fantasy while the
Earth bleeds and the sky grieves
Crush the rose petals of reason
Damn,I forgot what it felt like to be
In love with Oblivion
As a lamb of my time I had no qualms
Oyster on a silver platter;
Buttered and ready to be devoured
However,it only took a second to dawn
I had to don a pair of red thongs
Before savoring the world in my palm
The storm drowning the calm
I drink the ink of my pain &
Swill the wine of deception
Into a Novocain rain
Let it pour for hours
Until the ground twinkles with stars
And the sky blooms in plush pillows of flowers
Lying awake at a haunted hour
I spy a broken tower.
8282017.SE
Published 16th Dec 2017
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comments 2
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The author encourages honest critique.
16th Dec 2017 11:04pm
Wow...
This is a taste of paste.
Artistic in nature...
Embroided with flavour...
Sea is here again!
Celebrate her.....
This is a taste of paste.
Artistic in nature...
Embroided with flavour...
Sea is here again!
Celebrate her.....
16th Dec 2017 11:48pm
To be formal...
Well,this is one of those great works.
From my point:
(I put on the sleeve of criticism)
The poets starts with hyperbole...
Exaggerating a point there:
"What do you see in million years". We would have said,she may be speaking from historical view but the succeeding line depicts fully her intent.
'.... I relay... What i see.'
This shows that the poet may have been to some extent,maybe an immortal body,for according to the poem,she has been existing for 10 millenium. But No, here,the poet is a fellow human and an aged human cannot exceed 250 years of age.
Picking my point...
Broken Tower:
The poet run her eyes through some events that others have been lackadaisical to,and tend to draw their attention to the ruin that have been soaring higher from 10 millenium ago even up to this period.
She doesn't see the good roads,lovely street,stable electricity,Good economy,War-free country..
All my dear poet see is:
'Broken Tower'.
Pen down
Well done dear...
With respect.
Lions_den.
Well,this is one of those great works.
From my point:
(I put on the sleeve of criticism)
The poets starts with hyperbole...
Exaggerating a point there:
"What do you see in million years". We would have said,she may be speaking from historical view but the succeeding line depicts fully her intent.
'.... I relay... What i see.'
This shows that the poet may have been to some extent,maybe an immortal body,for according to the poem,she has been existing for 10 millenium. But No, here,the poet is a fellow human and an aged human cannot exceed 250 years of age.
Picking my point...
Broken Tower:
The poet run her eyes through some events that others have been lackadaisical to,and tend to draw their attention to the ruin that have been soaring higher from 10 millenium ago even up to this period.
She doesn't see the good roads,lovely street,stable electricity,Good economy,War-free country..
All my dear poet see is:
'Broken Tower'.
Pen down
Well done dear...
With respect.
Lions_den.
