Apology II

I dread to live this life that  
awaits me
the storm I feel is  
not abating
you have your reasons now  
to hate me
I see that now, my head's
deflating
 
I feel so hollow,  
dead inside
I killed us with my  
foolish pride
I try to run, nowhere  
to hide
as deep in me  
the pain resides
 
my conscience is so  
overweight
I have become  
the man I hate
can't even pin this one  
on fate
or something different  
that I ate
 
Goddamn it hurts, but
foolish me
still waits for
my apology
my pride will be
the death of me
but that's the way
it has to be
 
a special place in hell
awaits me
I gave you all you need
to hate
but those foul words
won't fade away
you know my terms,
and where I'll wait