When December Ends

It's been a couple winters,
now
you're hard to even be
around
you give these wounds no time
to mend
just wake me when December ends

I try my best to stay
asleep
or otherwise, the darkness
creeps
into the corners
of my brain
and slowly makes me go
insane

but just a little at
a time
so that way I still think
I'm fine
the same way that you
still pretend
just wake me when
December ends

you told me you were going
to sleep
just with that phrase,
the darkness creeps
I can't believe tou tried
to kill
when you chased that
handfull of pills

and I can't say I'll ever know
what made you feel
this way
it killed me when you said
"goodbye", and
"happy Holidays"

each day I'm thankful
you survived
that day within me
something died
into the void,
my soul descends
don't wake me
when December ends