Is There Time Enough?

 
My heart aches
My hand shakes
I live it
I breathe it
First thought in the morning
Last thought at night
I pause my day
Just to think about it
I immerse myself
Into a warm bath
Of an imagined hug
Cuddles that cats or
Teddy bears would
Give

How can something
So, so beautiful
Make me destructive
Make me paranoid
The voices in my
Head tell me
This is not for you
You will not get it
Desire is not enough
You will fail again
Like you always have

Words written are
Mentally pawed over
And the voices point
Out the emphasis
Of every sentence
Even every word
Or log in / out action
Assumed moods
From written text
Is a road to madness

But what if I can’t
Shut it off
Will my voice’s
Prophecy be a
Self fulfilling one
Will I be able to
Lead and participate
In the destruction
Of “The Dream”
And ultimately
Self destruction
The clock on the
Wall
Is
Slowly
Ticking